Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, God: John Mayer and Katy Perry Did a Song Together

katy perry john mayer

If the fact that Katy Perry and John Mayer are a couple bothers you, prepare to get a whole lot more annoyed when you find out that the pair actually DID A DUET together that’s appearing on John’s new album, Paradise Valley.  The track, titled ‘Who You Love’ (gag me), features such genius lyrics as:

  • “I tried to run before but I’m not running anymore”
  • “If it’s who you love, then it’s who you love.”
  • “Some have said his heart’s too hard to hold, and it takes a little time, but you should see him when he shines, ’cause you never want to let that feeling go.”

Make it stop!

I don’t even know what to say about this, so I’ll just leave it here.

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  • Breaking News – Doctors are baffled by a new ailment that has caused people to vomit from their ears. Little is known about this condition, but those who are afflicted all report symptoms of nausea and uncontrollable groaning; the most disconcerting result of this disorder, however, is ceaseless ear discharge. The fluid is often infused with blood and is triggered when listening to John Mayer and Katy Perry in tandem. The only other time doctors witnessed this condition was when patients were exposed to Taylor Swift’s music. Medical experts advise people to be vigilant and to either turn down the volume or change the station should “Who You Love” begin to play.