Helen Mirren, oh man, don’t even get me started on that trollop. I am so sick of her slutty red carpet outfits. You guys won’t even BELIEVE what she wore this time. That’s right. Look at those platform heels. Guys…she went full Stodden. Here’s a close-up:
I understand why all women of all ages in all of Hollywood would want to embrace the look of Courtney Stodden; she is, after all, our modern day Grace Kelly. And beyond. Elton John is going to re-write “Candle In The Wind” so hard for her.
So you listen up, Little Miz Mirren. You return those shoes EXACTLY as you borrowed them, and I mean EXACTLY. I want to see some spray tan residue on the inside of those thick clear straps. And when you return them, and she says, “It was an honor, your majesty”, try not to roll your eyes even though I know you’ve explained to her at least 10 times now that you’re not actually the Queen. Let her believe, Ms. Mirren. Let her believe.