Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Blind Leading the Blind: Chris Brown Thinks Justin Bieber Is Like “Baby Elvis”, Is Praying For Him

justin bieber chris brown

LOLOLOL. Let’s all just digest this for a moment. Human shit stain Chris Brown – himself violent, homophobic and just generally a total smacked ass – is “praying” for Justin Bieber after hearing about the younger singer’s recent trouble/meltdown/whatever the hell it is he’s going through.

From Power 105.1 FM’s Breakfast Club:

“It’s a case of how I feel. Being young, having a limitless amount of income to do whatever you want. You have nobody who’s going to say, ‘Hey bro, you look whack right now.’

I feel like the mainstream media… they’re going to target the little black boys around him and say this is why he’s doing it. I’m damn sure glad I’m not around! I pray for him, I pray for myself. I think we’re both great artists… he’s like a baby Elvis.”

Okay, WHAT? There are so many things I have questions on here.

1. Why the hell wouldn’t someone tell you that you look “whack” for acting like a total dipshit? Maybe not the people who you employ, since they’d probably be afraid of, you know, not having an income, but how about your friends or family or something? Christ, that’s dim.

2. I’m glad at least that Chris could admit that he prays for himself, as well, but how is he not an atheist yet considering those prayers have clearly gone unanswered and they’re both still complete assholes?

3. BABY ELVIS???? Cover your ears, Mr. Presley, or you’ll be rolling in your grave. The day Justin Bieber is anything like Elvis Presley is the day I fling myself off the nearest bridge.

Just shut up. Everyone shut up! Justin probably wouldn’t think the Elvis comparison is too off the mark, though, considering he recently compared himself to Jay-Z in an interview with Teen Vogue:

“I don’t need to address every speculation. Remember when Cam’ron dissed Jay-Z? Jay-Z didn’t even respond. Why didn’t he respond? Because he’s Jay-Z.”

LOL F-ck off, kid.

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