I just sort of want to let this story speak for itself because I guarantee you it’s the most ridiculous thing you’ll hear today – or probably all week. The National Enquirer – ambassador of completely true and reliable journalism – reports that Rihanna is cheating on future husband Chris Brown in order to show him that she’s still got it and could have any man she wants. The person she’s cheating with? Wait for it… wait for it… Dane Cook.
I wonder what goes on at the National Enquirer offices. Do they all write down the most ridiculous celeb that comes to mind on a tiny slip of paper and then randomly draw the subject of their stories out of a hat? First it was Justin Bieber she was laying it on, now Dane Cook? Sure, he rivals Chris in the douchebag department, but who even cares about him at all? Like, I seriously forgot he existed.
A source said to the magazine: “[They] have been pals for years, but their friendship has heated up in recent months because Rihanna wants to show Chris that she’s still a hot commodity.
“They flirt like crazy, and Dane regularly sends Rihanna flowers and gushy emails.
“Rihanna’s friends all think they’re carrying on a romance, but she’s very secretive about it. She wants to keep everyone guessing, including Chris.”
Something in the weed ain’t fresh, though, because surprisingly, Rihanna’s reps thought this was even worth responding to and have cleared things up with GossipCop, saying that the story is “completely untrue”. Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.