The Shamwow guy AKA the Slapchop guy aka Vince Offer, directed a film starring Adrien Brody, Michelle Rodriguez, Rob Schneider, and Lindsay Lohan and the trailer is out and it’s just as bad as you think it is. If you don’t want to watch it, I’ll sum it up for you.
- That Adrien Brody is in this film is a testament to the fact that he is impossible to work with and that no one wants to deal with his bullshit even after winning an Academy Award.
- The only funny moment in the trailer is when the music turns into sweeping dramatic music and the announcer says, “And Oscar Winner Adrien Brody” while panning over a slow motion shot of his face.
- The rest of the trailer is a hot mess of stupid offensive jokes, only offensive because of how stupid they are.
- The title of the film is InAPPropriate Comedy, so believe me, I get that it’s supposed to be “inappropriate” (I have no idea why they have the weird capitalization, am I missing something?) but there’s a fine line between satire and a desperate attempt at satire, and this is so desperate that we need a new word for desperate.
- Speaking of desperate, Lindsay Lohan being in this movie shows that she’s fallen harder and faster than King Kong from the Empire State Building. This isn’t new information, I know. But at least The Canyons has a shot at being something other than…whatever the hell this is supposed to be.
- I have no idea what the plot is. I think it’s a movie about making a movie. The trailer is choppy. There’s a scene of Lindsay Lohan dressed as Marilyn Monroe gunning down paprazzi. I don’t know.
- Someone gave the Shamwow guy money to make this.
- Someone gave the Slapchop guy money to make this.
Is this the worst thing that has ever happened to film? Is it really a crime against humanity? Of course not. But wow. Shamf-ckingwow.
It’s been shelved for a while (NO WAY, REALLY?) but it’s finally coming out on March 22nd.