Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kim Kardashian’s Maternity Jeans Restored Her Sense of Self

Lord, give me strength. Kim Kardashian‘s reserves of stupid shit to say to reporters must be hitting an all-time low as she’s been coming out with some real clunkers lately. If possible, I think being pregnant with Kanye‘s baby has dulled what was left of her brain cells, as now she’s talking about how wearing maternity clothes makes her feel like who she was before getting knocked up. I don’t even know.

From her “Mommy Blog” (Kill me now!):

Hi guys! So I love sharing my favorite products and beauty and fashion tips with you all and I wanted to do my first mommy blog today to tell you about these new J Brand jeans I received. They are these super comfy maternity jeans with soft, stretchy side panels in the front and they are absolutely amazing! I feel like I’m back to my old self and I’m so happy! With this being my first pregnancy I’ve been finding it really difficult to find clothes that are comfortable and fit me well, but these are great. Are there any other moms to be out there who have tried these? I’d love to hear you pregnancy tips too!! :-) Xo

So, basically you stopped wearing clothes that were 10x too small for you and got… maternity clothes. For pregnant people like yourself. Listen, we’re all about feminism here and women can wear whatever they want, whenever they want, but I love how it was a mindblowing experience to discover that she didn’t have to squeeze herself into skinny jeans and chiffon button-down tops and could actually go for an elastic waist. Hell, I’m not even pregnant and I choose an elastic waist for the majority of the week (hell yeah, leggings!).

It’s also a shame that Kim has to solicit “pregnancy tips” which to most humans is just “common sense”. Maybe someone should make sure to tell her to take prenatal vitamins and eat lots of fruits and vegetables so her unborn baby gets as much nutrition as possible. While we’re offering tips, let her know she’ll need to buy diapers, which will need to be changed when the little one takes a shit. Good lord.

23 CommentsLeave a comment

    • I was thinking that too…..her entire ‘Mommy Blog’ will probably be a regular account of ‘received’ gifts and her thoughts on them.

  • I really can’t stand how many women, as soon as they get pregnant, decide they want to start a “mommy blog”…as if it was somehow a revolutionary idea.

  • “While we’re offering tips, let her know she’ll need to buy diapers, which will need to be changed when the little one takes a shit. Good lord.”

    LOL LOL all day long.

    • I should try to sell her a baby bidet. I’m sure someone makes one.

      *intertube search*

      I found one on halfbakery with a “diaper dipstick”.

      How about a Baby Autochanger Diapering System. Every time I think about that, I see a poor cat being caught and diaper-napped. (Not that I would ever propose to place a poor child in one.)

      I see puppies pulling on a diaper dipstick post-deploy and the obvious hilarity that will follow.

      Anyway, wow. I feel some kid’s future is the same as Paris Hilton’s animal collection.

  • I looked at these jeans online. Guess what? They are skinny jeans! Why she thinks she can wear this type clothing is beyond me.

  • Being the self centered and vain bitch she is, it’s very satisfying to see that her pregnancy body is not the way she had hoped for.

  • Being as her ass is already a mile wide, she missed the sign on the back of her “maternity” jeans that says “Wide Load”.

  • LEGGINGS YES. Ever since I found out I am allowed to wear jeggings and a knee-length sweater to work, I’ve been ecstatic. COMFIEST.

  • on keeping up with kardashians . her boyfriend is kanye he choose her whole wardrobe. he make her empty her old clothes and he buy all the new clothes he choose. kanye maybe still choose clothes.

  • Wtf is she wearing? She looks like a modular sofa. If this were a photo of anyone else they’d say it was just some obese lady. She’s gonna REGRET REGRET those butt implants when they float down the back of her thighs.

  • OMG! That… thing… what the fuck is she wearing? OMG, I mean for real, what was she thinking?! I can’t even wrap my mind around how *awful* that looks!

  • Kanye has the worst taste ever in clothes. It’s astonishing that Kim lets him send her outside like that. He thinks he’s being futuristic. They both dress like 12-year-olds shopping with an unlimited balance credit card after watching Happy Feet.

  • You all sound JEALOUS!!! Whats wrong with being happy for her? Pregnancy may not be new to any of you but its NEW for Kim who’s never had this experience in her life!! If she wants to start a blog, there will be someone out there to read it. I see all of you here took the time to read this article about her and leave a comment. Stop being a bunch of hating b*tches and get a life!

    • Hating on obnoxious people is my light at the end of the tunnel. It keeps me going all day long without falling apart under the pressure of everyday life. It is what I look forward to coming home to. It is what I do when I break down and cry after looking in the mirror too long right after I decided to stuff my face with kilograms of chocolate. It is the topic of conversation when everything else has already been said. And done. It makes all the injustice in the world seem a little less cruel. It helps ease the pain when I think off the fact that I can’t do anything within my power to keep these people out of the media. No, but all sarcasm aside, the thing that I believe gives me (and other who choose so) the right to hate on her without a grain of guilt, is the fact that she is the offspring of Kris Jenner. And the fact that she is one boring and lazy lay (is that how you spell it, lay? As in ‘woman you sleep with?) Thank you for your time.

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