John Mayer has a lot of feelings, people. I mean, have you listened to ‘Your Body Is a Wonderland’? If the answer is “unfortunately, yes” and you still have ears, listen up. You see, John knows he’s been promiscuous in his dating life and treated women like garbage, but now that Katy Perry has tamed him and taught him the error of his ways, he realizes he was probably wasn’t all that nice to his past girlfriends, a lengthy lists which includes Jennifer Aniston, Minka Kelly and Taylor Swift.
Appearing on CBS Sunday Morning, John said:
“I was just a jerk.”
That’s it. Not “I was a jerk, but I’ve got my shit together now” or “I can’t believe what an absolute asshat I was! So glad I’m not like that anymore!” Instead, you can take it or leave it because he doesn’t care one way or another what you think:
“It’s very liberating when you finally realize it’s impossible to make everyone like you. I wanted everybody to like me. I thought I was one shuck and jive away in every direction.”
As my mother used to tell me as a kid when I was desperate for one of those Cabbage Patch dolls with the hair you could actually crimp, “People in hell want ice water.” So basically, dream on. The day everyone – or even a fraction of the population – likes John Mayer is the day I start selling all my belongings and preparing for the end of days.