Today's Evil Beet Gossip

So Long, Farewell

Oh guys. It’s really, really that time: my final (non-celebrity-related) post. I’m glad to say that I went out with a bang on that last John Mayer post. I mean, I guess. You know. If I could have chosen, the last celebrity-related post would have been something LeAnn Rimes/Brandi Glanville-related, but hey. It can’t always be flaccid penises and boob cutlets all the time, you know.

On that note, oh my goodness. My personal voyage with Evil Beet Gossip started off back in 2009, when I was just chomping at the bit to stop writing link exchange posts and move on to bigger things. In late 2009, I got my wish: Sasha, who is the original Evil Beet herself, had hired me as an official staff writer for Evil Beet Gossip. I thank her so, so much for taking a chance on someone like me way back then. 5,394 posts later, I leave you with this, my own personal, sentimental, and irregularly inappropriate and ill-placed advice for those to whom it might be applicable: never stop moving forward. Seriously. No matter what life throws at you—good or bad—just never stop moving forward. Go after what you want, but be so, so thankful for what you have in the meantime.

That, of course, brings me to be so, so thankful for all of you guys, because many of you are so, so wonderful. I’d like to call a few of you out, here, so be prepared:

evilbeetdouche. You were one of my very first allies on Evil Beet, and I’m eternally grateful to you. You stuck by my side when there was that weird transition where everyone and not just some people hated me, and by the way? I think I know who you really are! BOOM. ;)

Chaz! Oh Chaz. You know where I’m going, because we go way back like that, and I hope you’ll come and stir the shit in the new joint, too. Also, please, please bring guest with you. It just won’t be the same.

Mireee. Girl, you’ve been around forever. You were even around on Zelda Lily, and that’s where I really got to know you. You’re smart and kick-ass and never let anyone put you in a place where they think you belong. You’re one of my most favorite commenters because secretly, I want to be just like you.

CranAppleSnapple: I’m sorry that certain things drove you away, but I have a book from you, and I will always think of you whenever I look through it. YOUR NEW CAT IS SO CUTE and your husband is, too!

Angry Pirate. I don’t know where you’ve been, but the last time I saw you was on a Courtney Stodden post on the twentieth of the month. I still officially never got a goodbye! Boo on that business. Do come back, OK?

puddin. Could you possibly win more Caption This contests? You’re hilarious, girl. I’m going to miss sending you free crap.

I’m sure there’s probably many, many more that I’ve interacted with on a personal level, and if I left any of you out, I’m sorry—I’m going to blame it on the tears and the big, big, really big glass of Merlot that’s currently clouding my vision.

I also want to send a major, major thankyou to Emily, who has been my partner in crime and cohort at Evil Beet Gossip for longer than anyone else ever has. She’s the most amazing, most sensitive, most hardworking lady I’ve ever met, and while I’m sorry that she’s leaving Evil Beet, too, because I know how well-loved she is, I’m also super happy that she’s coming along with me and embarking on a whole different, crazy adventure that will hopefully prove successful for both of us. Emily’s a real gem, and I count myself blessed to know her.

Last, I want to thank A., who entered my life sometime around 2010 (I can’t even remember when, it seems like it’s been so long) and had faith in me even when I wasn’t sure I had it in myself (hid that one pretty well, huh?). A. has been the best boss anyone could ask for, and rest assured, friends, there’s so much going on behind the scenes at Evil Beet that’s going to just knock your socks off in the coming months, so be on the look out for it, guys.

I love you all immensely, and I will never, ever forget you, or the various parts you’ve played in one of the greatest and most rewarding experiences of my life.

On a final note, I’m going to let my homies, Boyz II Men, do the rest of my talking for me, because that’s appropriate right now, maybe:

Although we’ve come to the End Of The Road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Come to the End of the Road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you

Catch you on the flip side, guys. Promise you’ll belong to me forever! xo

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