Big day for Michael Lohan … his daughter escaped jail … and his fiancee just gave birth to a BOUNCING BABY BOY!!!
While Lindsay was sweatin’ it out in court, Kate Major went into labor at a Florida hospital.
We’re told Kate gave birth to a son — Landon Major Lohan — at 11:39 AM PT.
The baby weighed in at 19 3/4 inches, 7 lbs 5 oz … and is already wanted in 3 states (kidding!).
We’re told Michael was with Kate the entire time … and even cut the umbilical cord.
A rep for the family tells us baby, Michael and Kate are all doing great.
Congratulations, everybody! And by “congratulations,” of course I mean “someone please get that poor darling baby as far away from all these people as possible.” Michael Lohan probably didn’t need to be raising any kids in the first place, but I feel like now that his crazy asshole tendencies have really set in, this kid is in even more trouble than he would have been if he was part of the original Lohan brood. I mean, in a few years this kid can Google his dad and read all about the time that he kicked his mom in the vagina. That just has bad news written all over it.
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I can’t believe these people are allowed to have kids !!!! It’s makes me sick !!!!! They absolutely carry the crazy gene !!!! The next generation of Hollywood kids are gonna be a train wreck !!!! Maybe his kid can pal up with Kim’s !!!!! Match made in heaven !!!
It’s like a nursery rhyme – “Kate Major went into labor, and the cow jumped over the moon.”
Hello,Mrs.Lindsay Lohan how’s it going today?Mam.
Did he fry up the placenta and eat it like the hipster liberal winky-dink parents are wont to do?