Today's Evil Beet Gossip

It’s the Time of the Season …

So hey. Hey, guys. I wanted to see if we could sit a spell and talk about a few things that are going to be happening here around Evil Beet Gossip over the next couple of weeks, because if it’s anything I hate, it’s a surprise. Unless, of course, that surprise is Courtney Stodden remixing and remastering ‘Don’t Put It on Me, Girl’, because that would be the best surprise I could ever probably get in life, next to that one wish of being able to eat all f-cking day and night long without putting weight on (because I would definitely never stop shoveling terrible things like fried chicken and Ghirardelli Twilight dark chocolate into my mouth).

No, some of the changes around here are going to happen one way or the other, and I thought it would be best to let you guys know and not spring it on you, because a) it has nothing to do with Courtney Stodden, and b) I really, really love you guys from the cockles of my pitted heart.

The thing is, Emily and I will be leaving Evil Beet Gossip effective February 1st, and two very fabulous, very talented ladies will be taking our place as Editor and Managing Editor, respectively. Bobby Pfeiffer, who many of you might know as a wonderful, long-term commenter on Evil Beet Gossip, will take Emily’s place, and Jennifer Still, who is affiliated with Hello Giggles and Digital Spy, will be taking the helm as Managing Editor. I have full confidence that both of these smart, sassy, and snarky women will be the perfect combination of awesome and bitchy that you guys generally come around for (I mean, really; why else would you be here?).

Before you ask—NO, Emily and I did not get fired for punctuation errors, nor did we lambaste LeAnn Rimes one too many times for her agent’s taste. No, Emily and I will be moving on to the land of Los Angeles, where taxes are higher and Arnold Schwarzenegger was once commander-in-chief (what the f-ck was that all about anyway). We’re embarking on another Editor-Managing Editor relationship, because really, you just can’t separate us (really—you apparently can’t).

Please don’t be angry, and please be nice to the new ladies. They’re going to excel in their positions, and we’ll occasionally be checking in to make sure everyone’s playing nice. Thursday, January 31st will be the last time you’ll have to sit and be subjected to Emily and I, and ’til then, well … ’til then, I guess. We’ll miss the crap out of you guys, I promise. Thank you so much for being the wonderful readers that you are. I’m going to go cry and eat the rest of that ham now.

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  • You both will be missed. It’s been fun following the writings of two fabulously talented and funny ladies. Best of luck in your new endeavors! Much love to you both!!!

    • Yeah, what are your future plans? It would be nice to keep up with you. Anyhow, you have done a great job here and you two are probably the most diplomatic people I’ve ever run across and considering the commentors on this blog (myself included), that is beyond incredible. I lived in L.A. a few years myself and I can tell you this: It’s the best place to be on earth when you’re happy and the worst place on earth to be when you’re sad. Anyhow, good luck and know you will be much missed.

  • OMG I don’t know what to say!! I want to cry!! Emily I need kitten photos!! Whose going to give me kitten photo’s!! You both have a great sense of humor and I actually know which one of you is writing before I even look at your little photo! I’m going to miss you guys so much!! Best of luck to you both!!

  • That’s pretty cool that you guys are being teamed together somewhere else… and you’re physically relocating to L.A.? Wow. EB is good to its writing ladies.

    I’ll leave you with a parting piece of wisdom, since I don’t think I’ve ever had a chance to criticize your writing–it’s “sit and be subjected to Emily and *me.” Use ‘I’ as a subject (as you did the rest of the time in those paragraphs when you said “Emily and I”), but ‘me’ if it’s an object. It’s easy to remember because if you were using a singular subject, just yourself there, you’d naturally say “sit and be subjected to me,” not “sit and be subjected to I.”

    And that’s not to come down hard on you, because I normally don’t pick on others’ writing online, but since you’re moving up in the world, it can’t hurt to polish your writing a little more.

    That being said, it’s been a pleasure to glean my gossip news from you and Emily.

  • Awwwww, shitfuck! You know how I feel, gonna miss ya, loved what you’ve done, good luck, yadda yadda yadda. What about the new chick….does she sport girl wood when it’s appropriate, does she have lady balls, what are her thoughts on tits, what are her tits like?

  • Best of luck to you both! Onward & upward! Welcome to the new ladies, I trust that we are in good hands. You’ll be missed!!

  • Well hellsbells and donkey dicks. Go ahead and dump us like the cheap gossip whores that we are… Yeah, we know, our money is on the dresser. I must paraphrase the greats to convey the depth of my feelings (The Beverly Hillbillies, of course), “L.A., swimming pools, movie stars. Y’all come back now, hear”.

  • Thanks for all the great posts and good luck to both of you. Another vote from me for letting us know where to find your new work.

  • Awwwww :(

    Well, I’ll miss you guys. 8′(

    I wish you the best of luck, happiness, and riches wherever you go.

    I trust you guys are taking this step so you can find a different writing gig now that you have a little experience!

    On to our fourth set of writers I guess …

    (Someone mentioned our beloved beet-beet above, then there was Molls (Wendie & Kelly sometimes), then Sarah and Emily.)

    Mar 28, 2010 0802PM beet-beet “we’re hiring” I think Emily was hired from this.

    skipabeet is, as far as I know of, the only male that has ever written for EB. He was never a regular but filled in a couple of times.

    On another note, the first story I can find for Sarah was an “In Other News…” on Mar 08, 2010. Molls was still writing and I think Kelly had already left.

    The first STORY was about MJ’s bodyguards whining after his death.

    There was no introduction of Sarah that I could find. Not that this mattered (to me). But I think she rocks!

    Of course, I could be wrong about her intro. It was 1715 pages back currently. :)

    I’ve been reading this board for around 5 years now. The actual board goes back to 17 JUL 2006. Page (currently, of course) 3931 is the beginning on THIS board.

    Thanks for entertaining us all these years guys!

    Thanks for your contributions Sarah and Emily!

    If, in all of this, you would like to view the “original” beet-beet in all her glory; go visit evilbeet.blogspot.com. Her old site is still up in all its glory.

    Anyway, I love all you guys! (Especially Sasha)

    AP

    • Well. Crap.

      Sarah’s first article was 2009 DEC 29 when she filled in for Molls.

      Her first line was: “So, I’m Sarah and I’m filling in for Molls for the remainder of the day. I’m not as cute and don’t smell as good — kidding — but I think I can clumsily take the reins well enough to satisfy your gossip-ogling pleasures.”

      At least I didn’t miss the fact that she wasn’t formally introduced. Just missed the time a bit.

    • Emily’s first message was on 2010 MAY 01. Her first line(s) were: “I’m Emily. I’m also the new weekend writer, and furthermore, I am super excited about this. I’m a 21-year-old college student in Virginia, and in a week, I’ll have a degree in Acting.”

      I just remembered that this site has an “authors” page. *sigh*

      I need more pizza. :/

      • Don’t remember one and a quick search of “evil lars” and “evillars” with site:evilbeetgossip.com doesn’t come up with one either. (google)

        I also tried the author pages and didn’t find anything.

        Did you also check her old blog? That’d be 2006 or 2007 sometime.

        Maybe I’ll try a search here.

        Eh. A search here also turns up no hits for an Evil Lars or evillars.

        *shrug* Dunno Chaz. Dunno. I suspect not, but there are a good number of pages.

      • Well, at least a check on Arizona brought up the time Sasha was chomped upon by bedbugs! (2008)

        LOL I remember where I was in the world then. :)

        If memory serves her parents lived in AZ.

        ROFL and Wil Wheaton’s signing beet-beets breast at comicon! (2009JAN23)

        Oh! And Sasha’s old blog (Sasha is a Monster) which she last updated back in 2010. I didn’t read it much, but did sometimes.

        Which reminded me of Zelda Lilly! (which I almost never read but is still updated if you swing by)

        *sigh*

    • I believe it was Sasha, then she hired Wendie, then Molls, then Sarah, and for the weekends, she hired Soleil, then Kelly, then me. Then when Molls left, we had Jenn, then it was just me and Sarah. That’s how I remember it :)

      There was skipabeet, and I think I remember Evil Lars too, but there was also Spiteful Liars, remember? They covered Heath Ledger’s death, and I was like “I need you, Beet!”

      Oh, memories!

      • There ya go.

        At least I was close.

        Yeah, I remember Jenn (vaguely) and Soleil (who does not have an authors page) AFTER you mentioned it.

        I gived-it a shot. 8/

        I still didn’t find anything for Evil Lars. Spiteful Liars doesn’t come up in google either.

        I can find HL’s death. EvilT covered one part of it and … “Spiteful Lars” came up in the other. :)

        google’s site search couldn’t find it.

        But you are le bomq.

        Chaz: Happy Friday Friendos! is the article you’re talking about and that was on 2008JUN20 @ 0843h.

      • Pirate, now I’ve had a scotch or two, my thoughts are clearer. I really think evil lars filled in when Sasha split to Mexico for vacation.

      • @Chaz: I looked for mexico (buttload of posts) and “mexico+vacation”. No dice on either for beet-beet going to mexico.

        But … it doesn’t matter because I got to see pink-haired Britney in Mexico and some Leann Rimes silliness with Cibrian.

        I had NO IDEA that this (Leann) stupidity had been going on for so long.

        Oh, and Paris Hilton stupidity from way back too.

        LOL memories.

    • I think I remember readers being really nasty to them when they started up… do I remember correctly?
      Also, I appreciate your doing this, Angry Pirate… next time writers leave the EB, they should do a memorial post or something. Or Emily and Sarah could write memorial posts for each other? That’d be nice. Include pets.

      • That sounds like an awesome idea Puddin!

        I second the notion/motion.

        And … yeah. EB writers generally get the smackdown when they start. Everyone did, including Sasha.

        I’m of the opinion gossip writers should be like comedians; used to a little ragging.

        They seem to handle it pretty well.

  • So so sorry to hear you’re both leaving! I really love both your writing styles and you never fail to make me smile/laugh/snort a drink out my nose while reading your articles.

    Best of luck with your new work – the writers taking your place have a lot to live to up too!

  • I will sincerely miss you both, but I’m happy for you that you’re moving on to bigger (and probably better) things. =)

  • sorry you guys are leaving, i just found this site couple weeks a go and i love it!
    Wish you all the best in your new journey

  • Good luck ladies! I have been reading evilbeet for years and I must say, I have really enjoyed having both of you here.

    Thanks for everything!

  • Hi Sarah and Emily!
    Congratulations you sweet girls, and I’ll be reading you at your new site!
    And also, NEW KITTEN!! NEW KITTEN!! I have a beautiful new kitty who adopted me by coming to my house daily for a couple of weeks and then eventually moving in! My broken heart is all sort of warm and squishy right now.
    *Hugs all the girls and Chaz* :D

      • I’ll getya some photos! I’ve missed you guys too! :D
        My teeny babyhead is resting comfortably after having been fixed, and she has adapted beautifully to wearing a cone collar so she won’t pull the stitches! She’s so cute when she backs up and then goes around stuff in her path. Squee! Her name is Clementine and she is a one year old (approx) teeny little jet-black fluffball. :D

      • Aw hugs to you Chaz! I’ve missed you as well! :D I’m good and I hope you are all well and groovey!

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