Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kim Kardashian Needs You to Shut Up About The Whole Kris Humphries Thing

A photo of Kim Kardashian

“It’s like, so old news. I’m technically, like, legally married, and I’m like, pregnant, but some other, like, man got me pregnant. Like, not my husband. Like, yeah, ha, like, ha. Hilarious, guys. Like, so hilarious. Whatever.”

Ok, now just imagine that line said in a weird, drawn out, sort of nasally voice. That’s basically what this whole entire interview with Kim Kardashian is about.

She did an appearance on a radio show, along with Kourtney Kardashian, and of course everyone wanted to talk about her crazy situation. Here are some of the things that she said:

“He’s [Kris Humphries] … suing me for an annulment … He’s claiming that I [committed fraud] … Who would ever do that? It’s just not who I am. All those fake and fraud rumors got started because of that, and we have to deal with that and handle that.”

Oh, except all those “fake and fraud rumors” started about two seconds after her sex tape was “leaked.”  But who’s keeping track?

“I would have rather ended it when I felt that way, than waste a year of my life not being happy,” she says. “But for him, too. I knew the whole world was going to bash me. I knew that. I said to myself, ‘What’s more important? My life and my happiness, or what the whole world thinks of me?’ [Staying married] would be vain. That would be fake. That would be doing it for publicity.”

Well, her life and happiness need to do some serious thinking the next time they make a huge commitment so that they don’t change their minds a few weeks later.

“If anyone [only] knew all the fertility problems and the things that I was going through,” she says. “God brings you things at a time when you least expect it. I’m such a planner and this was just meant to be. What am I going to? Wait years to get a divorce? I’d love one.It’s a process.”

Wait, what?  How did she knew she was having all these fertility problems?  I thought that fertility problems only showed themselves when you were trying to get pregnant, is that right?  Unless she has some other condition that makes pregnancy hard, I think that means she tried to have a baby before?   I’m really not sure with this one, I’m just wondering when she would have found out about her fertility problems.

“I just don’t like all the jokes. Things ‘longer than Kim’s marriage.’ Technically I’m still married, so that joke doesn’t really work … Give it up, people.”

Uh, that doesn’t make it sound better, Kim.  You think you just gave yourself the upper hand, but you really, really didn’t.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I can’t stand when she talks because she’s such a believer in the use of vague speech. She makes big with the indefinite pronouns “it” and “that,” so that it’s unclear what she means to say. Hate on Taylor Swift all you want, but at least she speaks well, even if she is just talking about unicorns and sparkly things. At least it’s clear she’s talking about unicorns and sparkly things.

  • I’d love to hear more about these problems with infertility, because my initial response (which may prove to be unfair later) is, “Not having a guy who wants to get you pregnant doesn’t count as an ‘infertility problem.’”

      • It’s going very well, thank you. We’re in Boulder – isn’t CO great? And how have you been?

      • Co is great, love Boulder. My fav non mountain town. I lived there also, use to live on the hill. Miss the sink, tulagies, the fox, stellas market, ny deli, toms tavern, chautauqua etc….. Have you lived there long? Ive been gone from co for 24 yrs now, moved to the Midwest from Oregon, don’t ask…long story. I’m dying to get back!

      • We’ve only been here for about five years, but I wouldn’t mind staying! My husband’s from Wichita, so we visit the Midwest from time to time, too. CO is waaaaay better!

  • Kim and kris Jenner never thought that kris humphries would be smart enough to drag this out and humiliate them !!! I think it’s funny as hell I say go kris humphries drag those bitches through the mud where they belong !!!!! They deserve everything they get and more !!!! I wish kris humphries the best !!!!!!

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