“It’s like, so old news. I’m technically, like, legally married, and I’m like, pregnant, but some other, like, man got me pregnant. Like, not my husband. Like, yeah, ha, like, ha. Hilarious, guys. Like, so hilarious. Whatever.”
“He’s [Kris Humphries] … suing me for an annulment … He’s claiming that I [committed fraud] … Who would ever do that? It’s just not who I am. All those fake and fraud rumors got started because of that, and we have to deal with that and handle that.”
Oh, except all those “fake and fraud rumors” started about two seconds after her sex tape was “leaked.” But who’s keeping track?
“I would have rather ended it when I felt that way, than waste a year of my life not being happy,” she says. “But for him, too. I knew the whole world was going to bash me. I knew that. I said to myself, ‘What’s more important? My life and my happiness, or what the whole world thinks of me?’ [Staying married] would be vain. That would be fake. That would be doing it for publicity.”
Well, her life and happiness need to do some serious thinking the next time they make a huge commitment so that they don’t change their minds a few weeks later.
“If anyone [only] knew all the fertility problems and the things that I was going through,” she says. “God brings you things at a time when you least expect it. I’m such a planner and this was just meant to be. What am I going to? Wait years to get a divorce? I’d love one.It’s a process.”
Wait, what? How did she knew she was having all these fertility problems? I thought that fertility problems only showed themselves when you were trying to get pregnant, is that right? Unless she has some other condition that makes pregnancy hard, I think that means she tried to have a baby before? I’m really not sure with this one, I’m just wondering when she would have found out about her fertility problems.
“I just don’t like all the jokes. Things ‘longer than Kim’s marriage.’ Technically I’m still married, so that joke doesn’t really work … Give it up, people.”
Uh, that doesn’t make it sound better, Kim. You think you just gave yourself the upper hand, but you really, really didn’t.