Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Needs an Academy Award Now

Those lips. Those extensions. Those grubby little dwarf hands. It can’t possibly get any better than this (no, I’m serious—have you even watched this clip? Because it’s probably as good as it gets, which is why it’s being released right now, guys).

I mean, honestly. What kind of face even is this?:

photo of lindsay lohan the canyons stills pictures
I can tell you what it’s supposed to be, having a little bit of a theater background myself—it’s *supposed* to be a “Oh my God, I’m so relieved that I was able to catch this half-empty plastic water bottle before it clattered to the floor, thus waking up the scary dude that I just woke up next to,” and not “Holy f-ck, guys, I’ve got a JOB! I’ve got A JOB! I’ve got a JOB and I can BARELY keep the self-satisfied little smirk off my face even when I’m supposed to be ‘acting’!” It’s like she’s not even focused, but that’s hardly surprising, considering the fact that she’s so drug-addled by … Oh wait. No, my bad. Now that I think of it, it’s actually totally surprising, because I’ve heard that drugs like cocaine and Adderall are supposed to make you super-focused and intent on what you’re doing. So, OK. Surprises are here, I guess. Surprises for days.

Here. Here’s another still. She’s supposed to be “frightened” here, and possibly “threatened,” too. But this is the face you get:

photo of lindsay lohan the canyons scared pictures
This one here says, “Still excited! Still squeeing! Still mentally shopping for new teeth!”

Also. Who the hell jumps out of bed that angry? Who the hell jumps out of bed that angry? Come on. This whole project is just completely unbelievable, and if this James Deen character is as bad in porn as he is in film, then well. I know that I won’t be wasting my time Googling “James Deen penis” anytime soon.

12 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Not that it would have made that atrocity of acting any better, but her makeup on her cheeks really didn’t help detract from the fact she can’t move her mouth.

  • OK folks, I once tried to watch “The Parent Trap” which everyone always says she had such potential to be such a great little actress, well to me I quit watching the movie half way through cos the kid was so annoying. I did not know who Lindsay Lohan was at the time and didn’t give it a second thought. Fast forward through the years, she still is an annoying actress, who can get involved in any plot line of any movie she ever makes, because she can’t get into character, she’s always Lindsay Lohan playing dress up and when I watch a movie I want to forget the acting and enjoy the story. That clip is bad acting. Sadly, she’s probably better at being a paid escort than a actress.

  • Okay, so I’m going to be that girl? Nobody else is going to say it? Really? FINE.

    Sarah, go ahead and google James Deen porn. He’s like…the Marlon Brando of p*rn. The Al Pacino. YOU’RE WELCOME.

  • She reminds me of a room-mate I had who took pills, drank like a fish and didn’t recall whom had sex with her while she was unconscious. The girl threw tantrums and lost all of her friends over it. She was dead by 36. :( How long will Lindsay last?

  • Soooo….despite the horrible acting, because you gals covered that, who holds a phone to their ear while the are simultaneously trying to listen for THEIR phone? Whenever I’m using another phone to call mine, I hold it against my stomach or something so that it doesn’t hinder my ability to hear MY phone.

  • Hahahahahahahahaha. OMG that is possibly some of the worst acting and editing I’ve ever seen. Looks like a cheap porn flick! The only positive thing I can say about it is that it looked like a cool house – before it was tainted by the Cracken.

  • Hahahahahahahahaha. OMG that is possibly some of the worst acting and editing I’ve ever seen. Looks like a cheap skin flick! The only positive thing I can say about it is that it looked like a cool house – before it was tainted by the Cracken.

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