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22Kelly Osbourne Is So Relevant

A photo of Kelly Osbourne

Let’s do a quick mental exercise. I want you to put your thinking caps on, and I want you to think about what Kelly Osbourne has actually done. Are you thinking? Are you coming up with anything?

Me neither. I can’t think of a single thing that she’s ever really contributed to the entertainment world. Her dad’s famous, ok. And yeah, she recorded some music, but that was a good few years ago. She gets pictures taken of herself every now and then, and she does do Fashion Police, but everything she does just feels like something that some washed up, past-her-prime celebrity does. But that’s just how she started. Isn’t that weird?

I guess that’s why, when she did an interview with Glamour, all they really had to talk about was her hair:

On her teenage hair: When I was 13, I had hair the color of gold down to my butt. I had an argument with my mom and yelled, “F–k you!” and chopped off half my hair. My dad could not look at me without pissing himself laughing.

On what her mom thinks about her hair: She wishes I would go back to blond. She’ll call me, really serious, and say, “I think it’s time for a change.” I’m like, “Mom, you have hair the color of a fire engine.”

On the possibility of her having her mom’s hair: I would look like her mini- me. I tried red once, and I looked like a carrot. I also wouldn’t go too brown, because then I would look like my father. But I’ve tried green, blue, purple, black. The lavender I really like.

On your lame hair: I dyed my hair shades of gray because I like it, and it pissed a lot of people off. Now I get tweeted 20 pictures a day of girls coloring their hair like mine. So if you don’t like it, sorry—you have housewife hair.

Groundbreaking, truly.

She also had something to say about that crazy expensive diamond manicure she had that one time:

They picked a few people to wear it for publicity; it was an honor. It’s a lot of money, but you’re telling me you’d say no? Hello! You can shut up.

I don’t know, I kind of feel like I would say no. I don’t think I’d be all that into wearing a quarter of a million dollars on my fingernails, honestly. So I guess I can shut up. Hello.

December 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Kelly Osbourne

22 Responses to “Kelly Osbourne Is So Relevant”

  1. mcmiller says:

    I actually flipped through this magazine at a doctor’s office last Friday (I don’t usually get to read magazines.) and I thought it was hilarious that one of the main articles was about “being yourself”, or something in that vein, and one of their bullet points was to “stop acting like you don’t care”. Then I glanced over the K.O. article and she’s like, “I don’t care what anybody thinks!”.

    Does that count as ironic? (I’m forever confused by the meaning of “irony” after repeated listens to Jagged Little Pill in the mid-nineties.)

  2. If you haven’t watched it, Fashion Police is hilarious. And I think the crew has chemistry, even if most of it is dominated by Joan Rivers’ one liners.

    So, it’s a cool niche for her, and it’s more than anyone present has or will ever do. She’s using it for publicizing her particular charities; those being : gay rights, coincidentally at the bottom of my priority list. Still, she’s done that and apparently stayed clean, sober, and out of trouble (except mouthing off about some starlets). Where is the harm in all of that?

    • pikki nikki polka pants says:

      Fuck yeah making a living mouthing off about starlets! Must be nice – more power to her. Not being a smart ass here – I’d actually high 5 her.

  3. kimchee says:

    One thing she has done is transformed herself into a gorgeous woman. Her lavender hair does suit her. Her English accent and way of presenting do have more charm than many celebs. I’m surprised she lasted this long. I never watched the family reality show but saw her pics everywhere – being the gossip fan that I am.

  4. Lo says:

    I like her a lot, and love Fashion Police. She may not do anything, but neither do half the people on these sites.

  5. pikki nikki polka pants says:

    I do dig her random funky hair colors. Going gray on purpose was kinda funny + takes balls! The lavender is lovely, but dang girl, hairspray down those flyaways.

  6. Mike says:

    Kelly Osbourne is very likable and never seems like she’s faking anything. I’m glad she’s doing well in whatever she does.

  7. Pique says:

    I’ve watched Fashion Police once a few years ago, and a few episodes of the Osbournes – I know Kelly’s been struggling with her addiction and self-worth, and she’s had it really hard for most of her life until she decided to change it around and worked very, very hard to look the way she does now. She fell in love and got engaged, and then got her heart broken by the guy.

    Whenever she appears in the news however is when she’s either badmouthing other people (as pikki nikki polka pants says that’s what she does on FP too?) and her personal feud with Christina A has more than filled gossip pages – I dislike her need to state the obvious transformation she’s gone through and criticize other people who don’t want to, or can do what she’s done. She should be happy for what she’s done, perhaps pick up a hobby that does good for other people (as a celebrity it’s always worthwhile taking one’s own fame to enrich other peoples lives) and stop talking about herself.

  8. Anonymous says:

    a gossip blogger asking “what has she actually done”… well, yeah, maybe thats a little ironic.
    i like her a lot. she doesn’t take herself too seriously and she has a good heart.

    you talk about kim k. and lohan on this site nonstop and these cunts are far, far worse. no need to tear kelly down.

    bye

    • mireee says:

      This “gossip blogger” as you so dismissively reduce Sarah’s work actually manages her own business and is doing so well she could give a job to someone else? So IDK.

    • Babydog says:

      I agree. Most people on this earth are not going to cure a deadly disease or anything that monumental. Does that mean our lives are a waste? She is pretty benign considering the destructive evil people that are considered relevant in this world, including the ones on this site. Love Kelly.

      • Emily says:

        I didn’t say that she wasn’t relevant to the world and that she deserves death and nothingness, I said that she wasn’t relevant enough to score this interview. It’s not about doing something that’s universally important, it’s about the fact that she’s written a memoir and had a gig on Dancing with the Stars and gets all these magazine interviews just because of who her dad is.

  9. mireee says:

    I really love her lavender hair colour, I think it’s beautiful. If I could afford the care that comes with that sort of colouring, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

  10. A Kelly Osbourne Fan says:

    Hi.Just read your article,and honestly?I laughed.I’m probably one of Kelly’s biggest fans and I know her very well.I’m just trying to clarify to all of you who Kelly is and what she’s done. First of all, we all know Kelly is the daughter of heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne and his wife, Sharon Osbourne. She got famous back in 2002 when she appeared with the rest of her family on the hit reality show “The Osbournes”. She was 17 back then.After she got popular overnight , Kelly got active in many sides of the entretainement world, let’s start with Music. Kelly’s first song was a cover of Madonna’s “Papa don’t preach” , the song hit the charts and made a record company offer a million dollar contract for Kelly. after few months, her first album “Shut up” cameup and sold more than 2 million copies. then in 2003, Kelly and her father, Ozzy, release their own version of Black Sabbath’s song “Changes” as a duet and it got number 1 in the british charts and sold more than 1 million copy .In 2005 , she released her second album ‘Sleeping in the nothing’ .Rolling Stone called it an “occasionally invigorating disc of shiny dance rock” The first single from the album, “One Word” peaked at #1 on three Billboard dance charts. Osbourne became the first artist in the history of the Billboard charts to top all three dance surveys in the same week. The single also reached #9 in the UK Singles Chart. Unlike the pop punk sound of her first album, Sleeping in the Nothing features Osbourne singing to ’80s-inspired electro beats.

    Her Acting Career? She made her debut as an actress with a starring role on 7 October 2004 on the ABC high school teen drama Life As We Know It then In June 2006, Kelly played the role of Wendy from Peter Pan in The Queen’s Handbag. In 2006, she provided a voice for the animated film Live Freaky Die Freaky. In July 2007, it was announced Kelly was to take on the role of prison matron Mama Morton in the musical drama Chicago. In 2008 she features in the short musical film The Town that Boars Me by photographer Ben Charles Edwards. In 2009 she appeared in an episode of Hotel Babylon, a British TV show aired on BBC One. In August 2010, Osbourne began filming on new comedy “Should’ve Been Romeo,” Her first major role in Hollywood. Her latest work was a movie with Miley Cyrus called “So undercover” which was just released 2 weeks ago.

    Presenting? Apart from hosting award shows on E! , she is , as you all know , a host on E!Fashion Police , she also presented “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me out of Here!” in 2006 , and in 2007 , Project Catwalk for Sky1. She also , the same year , has presented on “The Surgery with Kelly Osbourne” on BBC Radio 1.

    Fashion? After her weight loss in 2010 , she became a fashionista , a trend setter , and is also working on her clothing line.

    Writing? Her autobiography , which covers her drug addiction and recovery was released in 2009.

    Dancing? She appeared on Dancing with the stars , she came third place between 16 contestants.

    Activism and charity work? She works for many charities and is well known for her donations , like the Give a Damn campaign , cancer and HIV charities and is known for her support for the gay community.

    Overall , she does it all , how can you say she’s irrelevant? Just wanted to clarify everything and never judge a person before knowing what she’s overcome and acheived. Thank you for reading :) .

  11. Janem says:

    She looks incredibly nice in that picture.

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