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50Crayons for Mommy, by Nick DeMarco

It was a cold morning
But I was still waiting for snow
My mommy woke me up this morning
Made me breakfast
Even made me my favorite
Hot chocolate
With marshmallows on top.

The ride to school was fun
Mommy playing my favorite songs on the radio
I love Christmas songs
Especially the ones about Baby Jesus
I love Baby Jesus

With a kiss and a big hug (My mom always gives me the best hugs)
I headed off to school
But not before she told me
I love you
And that when I got home
I had crayons to put away
I always leave them around the house

Someone new is here today
Some man I have never seen before
With a funny jacket
I didn’t say hi to him
Because mommy told me never to talk to strangers

It feels warm now
I see a different man
He’s dressed all in white
Like that guy from the movie my dad took me to see
He reaches out for me
I’m crying
I miss my mommy
But he wraps me in a hug just like she does
I cry all down his robe

He takes me away to this beautiful place
One with fluffy clouds and a golden palace
It’s so beautiful here
But I can’t help but wonder
Why can’t I go home
To put away my crayons?

He calls me his child
And shows me what is happening
And for the first time ever I realize
This man reminds me of Baby Jesus
The same one from those songs I love
And we’re crying, together.

From the clouds he shows me my mommy and daddy
He shows me my brother
He shows me the whole world
Crying for us
All 18 of us

This man, who calls himself God
Tells me not to worry about the crayons
That mommy likes them just the way they are
And that I can go see her
Whenever I want.

Why do I feel warm in my stomach?
I ask this man called God
And with a smile
He takes my hand
Kisses it
And says
“That was me, warming your heart, little one.”
“That was me, taking you home, and making you even more special than you are to your mommy.”

I miss you mommy
But it’s so nice here
I hope some day this message meets you
As you sit at home
Looking at all my pictures
I promise one day I’ll pick up my crayons
But until then, this wonderful man knows what he’s talking about
When he says you like them there.

This poem was written by my wonderfully talented friend, Nick DeMarco. You can reach him on Facebook if you’d like.

December 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Uncategorized

50 Responses to “Crayons for Mommy, by Nick DeMarco”

  1. Deb says:

    Heart wrenching. God Bless everyone involved. <3

  2. Junebug says:

    Really ? Not comforted at all. Ban all guns… Then we’ll talk.

  3. Tara says:

    This is terrible. Really awful. And your judgement in deciding to post this, even fucking worse. You should be ashamed. And someone should tell this kid to stop writing such dreadful treacle.

    • Harriet Meadow says:

      Exactly what I was thinking. The event itself is terrible and tragic and heart-wrenching in every possible way. The last thing we need is a sappy, REALLY badly-written poem trying to make everything okay.

      • KK says:

        Everyone is missing the point of this poem including yourself. Sure you may think its badly written. Okay, you have an opinion. But what makes you think this person was TRYING to make anything okay? 20 children lost their lives, nothing will ever make it “okay”. It was a poem written to honor the children and others lives who were lost. That’s it. No further explanation!
        If you actually researched the writer, you will find that upon publication if this poem in his book of poems that are going to be published he is going to donate 100% of the proceeds to the families who lost children in this tragedy. So you can say all you want about this REALLY badly-written poem. The intentions are good and are most definitely there despite how its written.

    • Consider this seconded, too. Gosh. What’s even worse than writing bad poetry is writing bad poetry on such a serious topic. This is woven by cliche (golden palace? fluffy clouds?!) and doesn’t do justice to what happened at all.

      • NKKD says:

        What is cliche about putting it into a child’s context as if the child were writing or saying it? Don’t you think they would use simple words like fluffy clouds and golden place to explain their passing? Its a choice of words that were chosen for a reason, and the writer did not in fact put it into a a literary context!

      • KK says:

        Ah yes, the over debate about religion. Love these discussions. Look Bobby. It’s over simplified context is written as if a child is writing it. I am sure you got that. Do you think a 5 year old has any idea about “proper” religious statements? No they don’t! I am sure the writer is not blind to the fact that all the children aren’t Christian. Or some may not believe in God, etc. So the terms fluffy clouds, and golden place may seem oversimplified, but I feel the well define the context of the child who is the protagonist in the poem. Its a GENERAL statement of emotion, despite Christianity being favored because of a golden palace, God, Baby Jesus, etc. Blah, blah, blah. What everyone seems to be missing here is the fact that this intention is well put, and good. And mean good things, not to get into heated religious debates whether or not the child is Christian or not. Who cares what the religious context of this poem is. Bottom line is that innocent children lost their lives because of some moron. And this author of the poem is simply acknowledging those families who lost their little ones.

    • Sarah says:

      Whhaaaat? Really? I honestly thought it was quite beautiful and heartfelt.

      • Angry Pirate says:

        No, Sarah, this sucked.

        I tried to like it. Failing that, I tried to find SOMETHING likable or clever. Not going to happen.

        Bad “poetry” is one thing. DeMarco’s hurling this into a constructed tragedy is horrifyingly poor decision making.

        (By constructed tragedy, I mean that Adam Lanza knew that this would draw a reaction. It would be reported and blabbered over for days. He hurt and wanted other people to hurt.)

        I’m going to assume that affection for Mr. DeMarco lead you to republish this. Your heart was in the right place.

        Of course, the actual damage of republishing this is slightly more than dropping a bag of jelly beans.

        Lanza only shot those kids because he knew (even at 20!) that it would produce a reaction. Judging by everyone’s wailing, I’d say it was a success. Expect more people to die because of it.

      • Sarah, I don’t doubt that it was heartfelt and his intentions were good. It’s just bad, bad writing.

        Also, the allusions to heaven and god are disturbingly presumptuous and oversimplified. What if some of these people weren’t Christian? What if they were, but didn’t see god in that, to say the least, stereotypical way? What if they didn’t believe in god at all?

        One thing really got me: the suggested idea that the child protagonist is now more special to his/hers mom. Listen, man. I don’t want my child to be more special, just alive.

      • NKKD says:

        Much agreed Sarah.

      • Harriet Meadow says:

        Bobby Pfeiffer, I’m with you. That line about the child being more special to his/her mom really sealed the deal for me that this poem is in really bad taste. And KK, the author of this poem is not “simply acknowledging those families who lost their little ones.” He is trying to a) tug on our heartstrings by invoking things like hugs, hot chocolate, and crayons to make the tragedy seem, I don’t know, more tragic? And b) trying to comfort people by reminding them that the child is going to heaven, and that the child didn’t actually feel any pain or fear when he/she died. As to the former, NO ONE needs their heartstrings tugged right now. It’s unnecessary. We’re all heartbroken already. Besides which, the imagery used does not do justice to the senselessness of the act. As to the latter, its attempts to diminish the pain those families are feeling is completely oversimplified. The child probably did feel some pain and fear when it died, and whether or not there is a heaven, those families are going to be suffering for a long time, and trying to gloss it over with visions of God warming the child’s heart and taking it to a golden palace is, in a way, not doing justice to this suffering. I have no doubt that this guy’s heart was in the right place when he wrote it (and Sarah’s when she posted it), but overall I think it should have stayed in this guy’s personal collection. But yes, we all have differing opinions…

      • Harriet Meadow says:

        And if the author ISN’T intentionally trying to do the two things I suggested, then he needs to think about the fact that words can carry meaning beyond what the author intends, and that’s why most authors (good ones, anyway) spend a lot of time thinking about and carefully honing their works. Considering how quickly after the event this was posted, I doubt the author did so.

  4. Junebug says:

    Thanks Tara… Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  5. pufinstuf says:

    Putrid.

    • KK says:

      What is exactly “putrid”. Please elaborate on your one worded comment,

      • pufinstuf says:

        I take offense at people trying to comfort themselves with the use of concepts like “they’re in a better place now” or “God took them because they are so special” without considering those who are truly mourning. I doubt that those who were close to those killed feel that way with their loss being as fresh as it is. They may never feel that way. Saying things like that short circuits peoples’ grief and implies that if they don’t feel that way, there is something wrong with them. In addition, the idea that God would somehow cause the slaughter of children to “create more angels” or so He could have the most special people with Him makes me want to vomit. AKA putrid. (And no, these are not quotes from this poem, but this poem is of the same genre.)

      • pufinstuf says:

        And seroiusly, if you want to improve your writing, you should just take a class.

  6. NKKD says:

    Instead of giving absent minded, pompous comments. Give actual constructive criticism. Not just because “its poorly written.” What is so “poor” about it? That someone reached into their hearts and crafted a heartfelt piece that was NOT pulled out of their asses? And did it for simply honoring those who lost their lives today? Or maybe the person who wrote this isn’t a “kid” who is in fact a grown man. Or the fact that you lack the intelligence or heart to acknowledge what happened. No one is trying to “fix” anything here. Its a poem, a statement of feeling, be more considerate of the subject matter instead of being disrespectful! What you think of it is your opinion. But in the old saying, opinions are like assholes everyone has one! I find it amusing that one can sit there and use the word “fucking” followed by the word “treacle.” And call this bad? Do your research people before you keep adding negative into this world. Don’t you think there is enough with out your comments?

    • Junebug says:

      What ? You’re saying because we don’t like it that we have no heart? You’re an idiot. Nobody wants to hear this fluff about crayons when 20 babies are laying dead.

      • NKKD says:

        You’re “idiot” comments are not necessary, again keep adding negative into a world that is already negative because that is the “right” thing to do. You are missing the point, feeling, and context of this “fluff” when 20 babies are dead, if you think its even remotely about crayons, then you are sadly, sadly mistaken.

      • KK says:

        I agree with NKKD, you’re negative remarks are not necessary, and missing the context of the material. Think as if it were your child, would you not leave their toys as they left them, would you not hold your child’s favorite toy and sob all over it? I know I would. That’s not fluff Junebug, It’s real, and its well portrayed in Crayons for Mommy.

    • Angry Pirate says:

      *heavy sigh*

      While I don’t think you wrote that big block in reference to what I said, I’ll at least post a reply.

      Exactly what did you think was “absent-minded” or pompous? That people didn’t like it? That they thought it was in bad taste? That you didn’t like what they said? Without elaborating, like you demanded, doesn’t that make you pompous? Absent-minded is the wrong term.

      I found that “Crayons for Mommy” lacked anything that might make it a poem or enjoyable read.

      I found that it was written pseudo-style as a child but uses tenses, terms, and length that show it was written as an adult. No fakery was intended here, but it shows lack of understanding. Aped would be a good word.

      I found that the actual text was a weird narrative about some kid that died and went to heaven without improving its mind. The tone seems to be overly light opposed to normal mealy-mouthed drivel. If anything, CfM is scary due to aforementioned lightness.

      Bobby Pfeiffer wrote that there were cliches and didn’t do justice to the gravitas of the incident.

      Harriet Meadow wrote that it was sappy. While I don’t agree with that exactly, I can see how it fits. Pfeiffer and I wrote that CfM lacked the heaviness needed.

      I argue that this did feel like it was pulled right out of his ass, to use your own term.

      You continued with personal insults when you said that someone might not have sufficient intelligence (chuckle) or heart to acknowledge what happened. However, I believe all of us have a pretty good understanding. What does that have to do with CfM?

      CfM isn’t a poem. It is a poor statement of feeling written by an adult in an odd way. (With parenthetical remarks.)

      I find it odd that you are equating not liking CfM with thinking less of Newtown’s loss. You do know that these are different things, right?

      What you think of all of this is your opinion, just like everyone else here. I’m unsure why we need to restate this.

      After that, you asked if we “research people” before we “keep adding negative into this world”. Seriously.

      No, I didn’t research Nick before I posted my opinion. No, I don’t think it is or was necessary. I’m not attacking him. I’m stating my opinion of the work.

      While I felt that Tara’s idea that posting this was worse than writing CfM in the first place was wrong, her use of a curse word followed in another sentence by treacle was logically sound. Why would this amuse you? You do know what treacle means, right?

      You seem to be taking this personally and assuming that someone badmouthing CfM, in some way, badmouths … I don’t know. Support for Newtown? People feeling bad for the incident? Sarah?

      *shrug*

      Anyway, I still think you are teh bomq Sarah!

      • NKKD says:

        Thank you Angry Pirate for the constructive criticism, as per why you didn’t like it. I am not alienated to the fact that everyone would like something they read. Some like it, most don’t. It’s life! But do you not think its poor taste to interview children on the news after such a horrific day? The fact that the parents allow the kids to be interviewed is even more nauseating and heart breaking all because of? And yes I know what the word treacle means. I am not retarded.
        As other may view this poem as “falseness”. What is false about emotion? Feeling, and honoring those who lost their lives. People will express their grief via candlelight, or Facebook posts. Others like this writer through words. There is no right or wrong way of mourning. It was a choice, and even though most of you think it was “poorly written”. It’s freedom of speech, all of which you exorcised that right, as did the writer!
        I see how writing “floating up to a golden palace” can irk people because of beliefs, because we all believe different. But again, OPINIONS.

      • KK says:

        If you did take 5 minutes of your time and researched the author of this book, you will find that after the publication of his book of poems, he is going to donate 100% of the proceeds to the families who lost children in this tragedy. While you may think how bad this poem is, the intention is good, and it is in fact heartfelt. Despite what anyone thinks, I think its amazing, and I see how people don’t like it. Again its the intention of trying to put something good into this society that is filled with hate.

  7. Jen says:

    I’m thinking your heart was in the right place and I know many people are grasping at straws as far as how to react to these horrific events, but posting something like this is really quite awful and in bad taste. Little tiny helpless children had their lives ripped away and suffered not only pain but terror and confusion as they lay dying. To liken that to floating up into the sky to a golden palace is just…not the best thing to do. I’m sorry.

    • KK says:

      Jen while I see how you feel that floating up into the sky to a golden place is not the best thing to write. Its simply stated in a child’s context, a 5 year olds context who have not yet truly learned about heaven and God. I am sure that’s why it was written the way it was.

  8. ygbkm says:

    This is a really awful and badly written poem. I see why you posted it; but I think its falseness cheapens the sorrow of this terrible event.

    • KK says:

      What makes you think its false? Do you not think there is a mother who lost their child in the event that will leave their toys just as they left them? Hug their children’s teddy bear or blanket because their scent still resides on it? Or maybe the fact that they will refuse to open, or return Christmas presents? There is nothing false about emotion, pain, and hurt. It is what it is.

      • ygbkm says:

        It’s not easy to write from the perspective of a child, or a mother that has lost a child. This person has failed to do either. It comes across as a sappy, saccharine sweet made for TV retellling of how a person who has never had this experience would tell it. Heart in the right place, but it is awful.
        At best, it’s a bad poem. At worst, it’s latching onto a tragedy for personal gain. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s the latter, but it is most definitely the former.

      • KK says:

        ygnkm: This person is obviously not writing this for personal gain when he is donating 100% of the proceeds from the publication to the families who lost children in this tragedy. You really shouldn’t make assumptions. As bas as of poem you may think this is, the intention is there, not for personal gain but in the authors own way of honoring the lives that were lost.
        Don’t you think that the tv reporters interviewing the children involved in this chaos doing it for personal gain? Or in fact the parents who allow their children to be interviewed for personal gain? I would never allow my child to be interviewed after such tragedy. They claim to keep your child’s “routine”, don’t interrupt it. Well don’t you think asking them “what did the bullets sound like.” And “were you scared.” Is a cheap tactic to get ratings. That is personal gain. HUGE DIFFERENCE!

      • ygbkm says:

        He may not be profiting financially but he is profiting through getting attention to his work by latching onto the tragedy.

        For a writer or poet, getting noticed is just as important as getting paid. And this guy really seems to be using the suffering of others to get noticed.

        Are this dudes mom or something? Why are you so into him?

      • cmc says:

        The parents’ sadness and heartbreak has nothing to do with the quality of this poem. Also, what does the disgusting fact that TV reporters interviewed kids after the tragedy have to do with this poem? Yes, it was absolutely horrible. CfM is still an awful poem.

  9. ygbkm says:

    Also, it’s super messed up to scroll down past Amanda’s tits to see this.

  10. justsayin says:

    why can’t everyone just agree on disagreeing (as cliche as that saying is) and be satisfied with their opinions. clearly this was a post out of respect for the families who lost their loved ones. whether it was a crappy poem or a good poem, sarah posted it with good intentions, which was not only “refreshing” but also considerate, considering that this is a GOSSIP blog. it’s a nice gesture that despite all the celebrity crap on this website (that is of little significance and purely out of entertainment), some sort of acknowledgement was made for the tragedy that occurred.

  11. Angry Pirate says:

    NKKD/KK/DeMarco,

    Having multiple IDs is OK on a site that allows them. That’s cool. Don’t think people are actually fooled by it, though.

    I felt that things were getting silly enough to call it. That way, at least, you won’t have to do all of your negative stuff in one post (KK) and all of the other stuff under NKKD. It is too easy to forget which you’re writing as otherwise.

    Typically, you need to leave at least 2 hours between touching accounts. You usually want to leave letters out of 1 ID that you’re using in another. In addition, I’d either go to another board and get 2 dissimilar sounding names or just make up a couple yourself.

    You need to change writing style and use paragraphs or other overt ways to “signal” difference.

    How would DeMarco earn profits from that anyway? Who would pay for it even if it were publishable? Getting name recognition would be of greater value than whatever few dollars would come from sales. This leaves alone the fact that CfM is completely unpublishable.

    Blurring CfM with care for what happened works OK with people unfamiliar with logic or arguments. I don’t have that issue.

    I don’t think DeMarco is a bad person because he wrote CfM.

    I don’t think CfM is publishable in the least.

    I don’t think my dislike of CfM equates in any way with my feelings about Newtown.

    I don’t care how much, or not, CfM makes for whoever; including the victims. It still sucks due to aforementioned issues.

    I like (virtual) Sarah. She gets beat on a lot, so she needs fresh roses. She does try.

    I also love filet mignon, fleshy red wine, a crisp caesar, and a nice sizzle-y brownie with cinnamon ice cream too. I’m gonna go have some. (My stomach’s growling so …)

    I’d treat you if you were nearby. I bet you’re fun to talk to.

    • cmc says:

      Thank you for calling NKKM/KK out. I’ve been scrolling down the comments thinking “wait, does he think he’s fooling anyone?”

      Demarco- you need to learn to accept criticism. The poem is badly written and in poor taste, and people are reacting to that. Just because you have written about a tragic event doesn’t mean you should be free from criticism and everyone should pretend you’re a good writer. Heavy subject matter does not protect a terrible product.

  12. Odesa says:

    I don’t know which is worse, this poem or that “Christmas Shoes” song. Poetry needs time for reflection and editing. At least wait a day before posting something like that. When you release art in to the world you have to know people are not all going to like it, an will react to it in different ways. Maybe it’s time to go back and edit?

  13. Anonymous says:

    fucking awful sappy “poem”. it’s badly written and doesn’t do any justice to the adults and children who lost their lives. also, why is this between posts about lindsay lohan’s drug addiction and jessica simpsons wedding?

    TACKY!

  14. JessicaK says:

    This is trite, amateurish, offensive, reductive and a ham-fisted attempt to hit sore spots that are guaranteed to react. People will write whatever stupid stream of consciousness shit they want on FB, and apparently idiot gossip bloggers will link to it, but I come here for snarky bitchery about celebs, not this sort of sub-Hallmark crap.

    Everyone above has touched on the major problems here – the objectionable attempt to provide false comfort, the sub-Thomas-Kinkade level pseudo-Christian imagery, the complete absence of literary merit. What an epic fail on the part of the EB minion who posted it (sorry, don’t care enough to scroll up and see which Mongoloid blogger it was, you’re all pretty much interchangeable.)

    WTF happened to Sasha? She was actually intelligent and insightful.

  15. Paige says:

    Thank you Angry Pirate! As I was scrolling down the seemingly endless comments you had already expressed my thoughts in a far more intelligent and well articulated manner.

    Without intention of “researching the author” I clicked on the facebook link above to find something that is very indicative of who the author is as a person:

    “It would be wrong of me not to take time out to send prayers to all those affected by the school shooting in Connecticut. The remainder of Nick D’s 25 Days Of Christmas is for you, the affected families, and your innocent little children who never deserved such actions done onto them. God bless.”

    Nick obviously has good intentions. This post explains to me what level of NARCISSISM one must possess to think that CfM would be interpreted in a way that would honor the victims and their families. The implication that his review of the Simms 3 or Pokemon Stadium is going to help the families in any way BLOWS MY MIND. He just seems like the kind of person who can’t express his heartfelt condolences without self promotion.

  16. meh says:

    This is a bad poem. Poorly written, poorly structured devoid of feeling. I’m so sick of people trying to cash in (whether money, name recognition, etc) on tragedies like this. The families who lost loved ones deserve this time for THEM. This isn’t the time for selfish people to start trying to making this about themselves.

    And just because you
    Write in this
    Kind of structure
    Doesn’t necessarily
    Make what you’re writing
    A poem

  17. No name says:

    I don’t really understand who is posting as who however I did find it kind of refreshIng to come upon this writing on a blog page. Regardless of the writing ability of this person – (we’re reading trashy blogs here last time I checked) I believe the poem was really a lovely thing to come across. We all process, we all grieve, we all mourn in different ways. This was a creative expression on a baffling and dreadful incident. There are no words to make it better but to come back at someone with hateful and malicious things to say over someone’s caliber of writing makes me really sad. A lot a self-righteous judgment. Maybe we can be a little softer and gentler with people. Let people express themselves and let others get joy or comfort from it with out bashing or criticism.

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