If this isn’t really the most interesting Miley story we’ve come across, then gosh. I just don’t know what else could be. All those puppies she’s got? No—these puppies in particular—Miley’s TIT PUPPIES. BAM:
Here’s another, just in case you weren’t convinced (or if you just want an even better angle):
Ha. So, if you can imagine it, and your mind can stand it, this is the song that Miley Cyrus was performing, and yes, it’s that Borgore song, ‘Decisions’, and the following video is the video wherein Miley herself hops out of a cake while Borgore chants “Bitches love cake” and Miley Frenches a unicorn (don’t play like you don’t know who that unicorn really is, guys).
What do you guys think of Miley’s boobs? Think they’re the real thing? And if they aren’t, how in God’s name does she get her boobs to squeeze all together like that without the visible help of a push-up bra? And that video, if you’ve never seen it before—the real thing or is Miley’s music career completely over? Last, did you know that if you try to type “Miley” with your right-hand fingers on the wrong keys, it comes out “Nukey”? Because I gotta tell you—I don’t know how many times this post featured a porn star-sounding chick by the name of “Nukey Cyrus.”