Today's Evil Beet Gossip

OK Fine, We’ll Talk About Megan Fox—Happy Now?

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So after all of the previous discussion about seeing Megan Fox everywhere (because every chick in Hollywood thinks it’s prudent for their career to look like her, not because I’m actually seeing Megan Fox everywhere, unfortunately), I just had to go and stir up the pot, thus bringing Megan Fox to the surface to see just what she’s been up to lately.

And guys? I’m afraid I’ve got some pretty bad news for you: Megan Fox … she, well … she’s not going to be doing any sexy pictorials anymore, and that stockpile of awesome bikinis she had? They’re totally history, and it’s because she doesn’t want her son, Noah, to have to endure too many MILF jokes as he grows up. OK? Can it all be over now?

To the UK’s Mirror, Megan talks about how she’s going to quash her sensuality:

“It changes your perspective about being overly sexual in a film when you have a baby. I’m going to be more cautious about choosing films because I’m already thinking about when he’s in school and his friends are going to be showing him my photo shoots with me in a bikini and he’s going to be horrified. So that will deter me from making some of the choices I made before.”

Megan also discussed why she chose to name her son the biblically-based name of Noah, and the role that religion plays in her life these days:

“I went through a stage in my early 20s when I was very rebellious against how I was raised and I wasn’t worried about faith or religion but now, maybe because of getting married and wanting to have a family, I’ve come back full circle.”

Here’s Megan on post-baby weight loss, because apparently it’s still a thing that people have to defend themselves over:

“I only gained 23 pounds when I was pregnant and I’m still 10 pounds heavier than I was but I don’t want to kill myself trying to get back into shape because it’s not a priority right now. I’m too in love with Noah and I don’t want to be away from him. I don’t want to be at the gym, I just want to be home.”

You know what, though? This is actually really great and really sweet, and after hearing about all of the changes in Megan’s life, I really kind of expect her to completely drop off the face of the earth and forget about the fact that she was once a celebrity altogether—that is, if Brian Austin Green lets her. Word on the street has it that he’d do pretty much anything to stay relevant these days, and how can you remain in the spotlight if your wife’s going to go all Mennonite on your ass?

As if to prelude her next move, Megan had this to say about her career and where it’s headed:

“It’s scary because unfortunately women in the film industry don’t seem to hold their value as they get older so it’s scary for all of us. I relate it to being like a basketball player who is only 33 or 34 but people say he is geriatric because you top-out young. It’s the same thing for actresses. I’m 26 but already time is a tickin’ I’ve only got a few years left being so good but I’m thankful for having the marriage that I have and having a best friend and partner because that makes me feel safe and comforted in knowing that he’s going to grow old with me and love me no matter what and value me no matter how old I get.”

Guess that about sums it up, huh? Pack your bags, Brian … you’re moving to North Dakota or somewhere.

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