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20Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are Engaged

photo of johnny depp and amber heard pictures
So promise not to kill me for this, because I know that I totally despise it when my favorite celebrity gossip blogs write ridiculously misleading headlines, but hear me out here. There’s actually a very good reason for my blatant lie about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard being all engaged and stuff. Here. From Us Magazine:

After arriving at [L.A. club at] 11 p.m., the twosome — who kicked off a romance in late 2011 during their Rum Diary press tour — settled in on the patio, where, a witness says, they sipped nonalcoholic beers sitting side by side.

“They were flirty and engaged,” says the source. And their affection was no act.

Another insider says the actress, 26, “was telling people they were officially together” at a Gucci party October 27. (Depp, 49, and Vanessa Paradis, 39, split in June 2012 after separating in 2010.)

A pal says the Lone Ranger star is serious about the starlet: “They have said ‘I love you.’ ”

So, OK. Now you know where I got this “engaged” business from. It was the first thing I thought when I read the excerpt from Us. And really, it isn’t all that much of a stretch if these two boneheads are already saying “I love you,” now, is it?

And hey, what’s with the non-alcoholic beers? Are there seriously people out there who love the taste of beer so much that they’ll drink it even without the “benefit” of catching a buzz? Because I don’t get that. When I was a younger gal, I “liked” beer, but really, it is as they say—an acquired taste. And just as easily as I acquired it, I disacquired it, and now I can’t stand the taste. It’s similar to weed killer to me (not that I know what weed killer tastes like, but I can just imagine), and honestly, I’d rather a good glass of red (never white) wine.

What are your thoughts on libations? And is beer seriously beer without all of the fermentation and alcohol whatever that normally goes into beer?

November 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Amber Heard, Johnny Depp

20 Responses to “Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are Engaged”

  1. kimcheee says:

    She’s pregnant?!

  2. pistol says:

    Good sign if she’s supporting his effort to stop drinking. Beck’s nonalcoholic beer looks like the regular stuff, and that way you don’t stand out as a nondrinker.

    • Lo says:

      Why is it a problem to be a non-drinker? Who cares?

      • CranAppleSnapple says:

        Jackasses care. My mum used to crap on me for not drinking. Mind you, I have nothing against drinking, if I could find something that tasted nice. :) I like kahlua now, but mixed up as a mudslide that is more of a milkshake than anything.

      • Taeko says:

        It is a shared, social activity. A lot of people are offended/put off/suspicious if you don’t join in on all the revelry. It’s like you’re choosing to not be a part of the group, which can seem like you think you’re above them.

      • CranAppleSnapple says:

        That’s peer pressure at its most retarded and insecure. Are these adults we are talking about?

  3. Aboveall says:

    Johnny stopped drinking alcohol several months ago, that’s why they drinks “non-alcoholic beers”. CLAP, CLAP!! to Amber for support him on this decision!

  4. Sharon Athey says:

    The only thing I have to say to Johnny is if I was you take this one very slow. And Amber please don’t hurt Johnny he is to nice and kind man to hurt. So Please don hurt him like vanessa. a Johnny Depp Fan Forever. And I care about Johnny Depp. Thank You. If You are done with your girlfriend then leave her alone and just constrate on johnny, A concern fan that doesn’t want a kind , wonderful nice man .Good father and all time great man. The fans know . Because we all love him. I would never hurt Johnny Or is Family for anything in this world. Johnny Please go slow this time take your time and enjoy each other before you make a commitment. Love.

  5. pufinstuf says:

    Alcoholics generally drink nonalcoholic beer thinking that that way they can continue their past life without really giving anything up (except getting wasted, of course, like that’s not anything.) Unfortunately, it is not a big step from drinking the alcohol free beers to having “just one” of the regular kind. AKA, it doesn’t usually work out. It might be a legitimate option if you’re not addicted to booze, but if you are, it’s like a food addict thinking they can have sugar free ice cream for dessert every day. If you have an addiction, you have to drastically change your lifestyle in order to break it. It’s too difficult to do if you don’t.

  6. mireee says:

    I only like very cold beer, which imo is the only kind of decent beer. Carlsberg, Heineken, Becks… if they’re not borderline frozen they’re vomit-inducing. Pilsner Urquell is good. And no wine. Not ever. Ugh.

    • Sarah says:

      My dad brought some Pilsner Urquell over the other day when he stopped by, and it probably smelled the least nasty of all the beers I’ve smelled in recent time.

      Also, the idiot child in me immediately thought of Steve Urkel. “Did I do that?”

  7. Taeko says:

    Pufinstuf is right on in the above comment.

    Alcoholics have changed brains due to their addiction. They crave alcohol. The taste of non-alcoholic beer gives them the trigger of their addiction without satisfying the craving. It will eventually lead to a relapse unless they stop completely.

    Additionally, it’s really difficult to change your lifestyle (and avoid relapsing) when you still associate activities with drinking beer- even if it happens to be sans alcohol. As long as it is a focus in your life, you cannot recover.

    While it’s a nice sentiment for Amber Heard to not drink real beer around him (which is such a difficult position for an alcoholic! If someone around you isn’t drinking & you care about them at all- don’t ask them why they aren’t drinking. If they are recovering, it’s probably hard enough for them to even be around the stuff without being questioned about it too), it would be better if they were drinking lemonade or smoothies or whatever else instead. New associations and all that.

    As an alcoholic that quit drinking, I had to change my entire life. People I hung out with, activities in which I partook- the meaning/motivation for everything had to be re-established. It takes total commitment and total removal from the abused substances in your life until you can rebuild all of those connections in a healthier way.

    As for the taste- I love the taste of hops. Maybe my brain was just fooling me in order to get the alcohol (though I hated liquor), but I’ve always found it tasty.

    Sorry for the weird rant…it just hits close to home. It’s kinda funny because one of the many activities I replaced drinking with (as stress relief) was following this site. (So thanks for all the snark and keep it steady!)

    • Me says:

      Hey! don’t worry! your testimony is really interesting and useful

      Anyway, I don’t know if Johnny was a real “alcoholic”, you know? I think the comments over his drinking problems (he always has said he loves wine, but not that he had a problem) exploded with the issues in his marriage…so maybe, that’s the real “change” he did in his lifestyle: DIVORCE…and now with a new love, with his children under his care, maybe he’s just trying to stay as clean as he can!

  8. Bell Curve says:

    I have never actually tasted weasel piss but I imagine it tastes like non-alcoholic beer.

    Anyone who says “oh you cannot tell the difference” has probably never had had good beer or is American, but I repeat myself.

    • Chuck says:

      Keep dreaming Bell Curve. I’ve had plenty of crappy beer throughout Europe. Just keep smoking all those nasty cigarrettes the Europeans think makes them so “suave”.

  9. Anonymous says:

    but i thought johnny was wino forever

  10. Lee Pirozzi says:

    In my opinion – your opinions – are those of raging idiots. Therefore that makes you as outrageous as you planned to be.

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