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8Get Goopy This Holiday Season!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Guys. I don’t know when it happened, but it’s the holidays. Like right now. For my fellow Americans, tomorrow is Thanksgiving (which I like because of the sentiment and because I get to see my family, but, like, I’m not in love with turkey and stuffing is gross), and then in just a couple of weeks there will be a big ol’ slew of holidays! Holidays that you’ll probably get some gifts for! And, tell me, what could possibly be a better gift than one of Gwyneth Paltrow‘s special Goopy items?

I’ve told you about those stupid sweaters, those stupid cards, and that stupid outfit with the jeans and t-shirt. But it’s time to play catch-up. So let’s see what Gwyneth has to offer us, all right?

First up, we have Gwyneth’s very special nail polish for the holidays! It’s made by Butter London, and the set includes three colors. You can get this for only $36!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Now we have this fancy pair of shoes, designed especially for Goop by George Esquivel. For just $750, you can get these tacky ass gold shoes (that I would definitely wear) (I wear a size 8).

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Next there’s this lovely black jumpsuit by Margaret Maldonado. It comes in sizes Extra Small, Small, and Medium, and for $490, this can be yours!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

And now for the classic gold hoop earrings! They are $795. That is all.

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Lastly, there’s the deep v tissue tee! It’s the last item that’s still in stock in the Goop collection, and at $55, it’s a steal!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Ok, time for real talk. This is way stupid. I realize that George Esquivel shoes go for around that amount, and as for the nail polish, that’s only a few dollars more than it would be in stores. But that’s still dumb. You can get really good nail polish for a lot less than that, and you can find shoes just like that for a whole lot cheaper. Yeah, they wouldn’t be custom made, and the materials wouldn’t be as high quality, but they’re just shoes. Obviously I wouldn’t blow $750 on a pair of shoes, but if I had enough money to buy stuff like this, I’d probably just build a huge bedroom onto my house or go on a trip or something. And I don’t think that’s too crazy.

November 21, 2012 at 11:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

8 Responses to “Get Goopy This Holiday Season!”

  1. anon says:

    Is it just me or does the tee have nipples?

  2. CranAppleSnapple says:

    Oh Yay, Black Friday sales online! Awesome! :D

  3. CranAppleSnapple says:

    Hmm. Pesto-coloured nail polish. Coohl.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Emily! :D

  4. mireee says:

    Butter London is a really good company though so the pricing is good, even reasonable. Each one of those bottles goes for around £10 here in Britain so it’s really good. The shoes, I love, but unless I’m as rich as Goop I’d never spend $750 in them. And the rest is crap.

    • mireee says:

      (I mean, a Chanel nail polish bottle costs around £20, which roughly is $35, know what I mean). I’m a bit of a nail polish freak.

      • puddin says:

        I agree. I spent years buying cheap nail polish, because it’s cheap. But then I found a color that was to die for, and it was an expensive nail polish but eventually I bought it as a treat for myself. Expensive nail polish is so much better! Goes on neater, dries better, doesn’t chip, comes off with the acetone without leaving stains behind, etc. It’s just one of those things where it’s worth the higher cost. It’s still cheaper than getting manicures, and a bottle lasts for a good while.

  5. puddin says:

    I have to ask. Does the bag really say Goop? Like does she refer to herself as ‘Goop’?

  6. LegalEase says:

    The nail polishes are actually a pretty good deal…they’re normally $15 a piece

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