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13Hey, Your Breakfast Called, It’d Like Another Word With You

photo of courtney stodden and doug hutchison pictures
So guys, I’ve got a little story to tell you. See, yesterday morning I traveled to my home state of Pennsylvania for my obligatory every-three-year visit, and so, so much happened. Namely the fact that I spent almost entire seven hours in my vehicle carsick, at least until I crossed into the Pocono mountains, where I’m staying (more on that later), because I’m just not used to driving around in these mountains anymore. Seriously, these big old dips and bends and gullies—they were almost enough to make me pull over, and easily enough to give me the case of the belches and hiccups in an effort to keep the minimal food I’d eaten throughout the course of the day *because* of the carsickness, and that’s … well, that’s pretty gross.

That’s also kind of what happens when I look at this photo of Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison, because I literally haven’t been in my car for at least fourteen hours now—I’m safely tucked away in a friend’s country club vacation home, which, no joke, is f-cking haunted. I don’t know why they didn’t, you know, mention that to begin with, but I spent a good portion of last night wondering why wire hangers were rattling in closets and falling to the ground, or why the sink would turn on ever-so-slightly … so needless to say, I didn’t sleep very well last night. Which didn’t bode all that well with the sensitive condition of yesterday’s stomach, which, when exposed to Courtney Stodden’s comical boobs, Doug Hutchison’s mushroom pallor, and the kiss-mark of stanky red lipstick on Doug’s face, seriously. almost. made me lose it. altogether.

If I don’t run screaming from this vacation now, well. I’m a much, much stronger person than I’ve ever given myself credit for, and that’s a fact.

November 12, 2012 at 4:30 am by Sarah

13 Responses to “Hey, Your Breakfast Called, It’d Like Another Word With You”

  1. Grace says:

    I’m starting to get a real bad feeling about Doug. If that girl has sex with anyone other than him there are going to be huge problems. He’s going to go Toooms-variety stalker on her and her family.

  2. Lily says:

    I said it again, and I’m gonna say it now: can we get some money all together to buy girlfriend a new bra?

  3. mamie says:

    Doug looks like he had some work. At least an eyebrow lift. Cheap work. Not surprising. He definitely likes cheap.
    Not even the best surgeon can fix the mess that is his creepy soul.

  4. CranAppleSnapple says:

    My apologies for being insensitive, Sarah, but I LOVE haunted houses!! More deets!! :O

  5. pufinstuf says:

    Did he need to prove that she actually kisses him?

  6. j3ssica says:

    Poconos.. Small world! Nice to see a local hit the big time ;)

  7. alice says:

    I just thought Doug’s cheek implant was sagging.

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