Today's Evil Beet Gossip

TMI: Katy Perry and John Mayer Have Annoyingly-Loud Sex

photo of katy perry pictures john mayer photos
From Hollywood Life:

Katy Perry apparently had trouble satisfying Russell Brand’s wild sexual urges, but John Mayer certainly isn’t complaining! Instead, it’s Katy’s West Hollywood neighbors who are complaining, as the couple like to “have very loud sex, keep very late hours and like to turn up the tunes.”

Oh my God—seriously an image I did not need in my head an hour before dinner. John Mayer? Bumping Katy Perry’s ugly with his own ugly? And being loud about it? Sheesh. It’s like an appetite suppressant and birth control all in one shot.

Also, so I used to have this friend who’d, like, have sex with guys and from the time that the pumping started ’til the time that the pumping stopped, she’d make a noise that … God. I don’t even really know what you’d call it. It wasn’t exactly a bleating noise, nor was it a wailing noise, it was … oh! It was this!:

Also, if you ask how I know this, it’s because my friend liked to have sex in the other room. It wouldn’t matter what other room, per se, as long as the room in question was adjacent to a room where people were partying, or studying, or trying to make a really difficult soufflé, because yes, that used to happen, too.

But that’s what I would imagine Katy Perry‘s like in the sack. She’s probably all flailing arms and “Eee! Eee! Eee!”

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • based on how she sings, i’m sure her howling sounds of passion would make me wanna stick an ice pick in me ears. : / i mean, good for them, orgasms are the best & make life worth living, but for fuck’s sake, their voice(s) are gobshite & they’re rich beyond belief, so pay for a room with massive wall insulation PUH-LEEZE. just reading about their O faces & wildebeest sounds makes me wanna vom.