Well break out your calendars and mark this day down, guys: today is the first day in a long time (and maybe even ever) that Kristen Stewart did something fashion-wise that I actually kind of hate. For those of you who, like me, think that Kristen Stewart can generally do no wrong (outside extramarital affairs), you should probably tune out. You just don’t need to see this. For those of you who feel like Kristen Stewart is a big, stupid, awkward fool with no fashion sense whatever? You and I are on the same page today, guys, so shh. Let’s keep that between us, alright?
So this is what Kristen wore to a recent ‘Breaking Dawn Part 2’ thing, and honestly, the onesie (?) looks like something you’d see on ‘Alice in Wonderland’. It makes me want to knock a bitch down and play Wizard’s Chess on her. The shoes are flat-out ugly, and really, anything that looks like it’s trapping your foot is just bad in my book, but that’s because I’m short, and things like that make me look shorter. I’m biased. The hair is flat-out greasy-looking, and her makeup is too pale for the outfit and too shimmery for her pallid complexion.
Shall I continue? OK: The way she’s standing makes me think of oral sex, and then I think of buck-toothed Rupert Sanders doing his buck-toothed thing down there, and really, that’s the last thing Kristen should want people to be thinking about amidst the ‘Breaking Dawn’ madness that’s to ensue. All in all, she looks like she smells, and that’s never a good look to go with, especially when the term “oral sex” is being thrown around.
It’s a fail, guys. A big, fat, checkerboard fail.