You might have already seen a little piece of this monstrosity – I showed you a teaser last week – but man, what a weird video, right? Like, I don’t even know what to do with this. What am I supposed to do with this? What is Christina Aguilera trying to tell me? Is this a cry for help? Do I need to help Christina Aguilera?
And it’s not even that the chorus of her new song is “all I want to do is f-ck your body.” Well, ok, it’s a little bit of that. She’s a 31-year-old woman with a four-year-old son, and she has a voice to die for, I think she can step it up a little bit. It’s just … what’s with all that blue paint in that bathroom? Is that what she thinks semen looks like? And why did she beat the guy with a baseball bat? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed that there was pink glitter instead of blood, but it’s just not that great a sign. And don’t get me started on the I Love Lucy bit at the end. No, please, don’t get me started on it, because I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean. It’s like Christina drank a bottle of Grey Goose and vomited up a concept, and it’s just awful.
But what did you think?