Today's Evil Beet Gossip

There Might Be Photos of William and Kate Having Sex, Hope You Love It!

A photo of Kate Middleton

It’s been two whole days since we first saw Kate Middleton, current Important Person and future More Important person, topless. How is the world holding up? You haven’t noticed any signs of the apocalypse, have you? No? Well, that’s probably because the bomb hasn’t dropped yet. The “bomb,” of course, being the photos of William and Kate boning. Ewwww.

From TMZ:

The editor of the French magazine that ran topless photos of Kate Middleton is suggesting she has SEX PHOTOS of the Royal couple in her possession but has decided not to run them … yet.

Closer editor Laurence Pieau revealed the bombshell today while defending her decision to publish the topless pics of Kate … saying “I won’t hide the fact that there are more intimate pictures that exist that we haven’t published and will not publish. These images are full of joy, not degrading.”

She didn’t specifically say sex pics … but she didn’t have to. It’s pretty clear what she meant.

So why would she even tell the public about the unseen “intimate” photos?

She could be trying to paint herself as a heroic figure who SAVED the Royal fam from further humiliation … or she just issued a thinly-veiled WARNING to Buckingham Palace: Back off the lawsuit, or else.

Too far, Closer editor Laurence Pieau.  Too far. And if that wasn’t too far, then the news that popular porn site YouPorn wants the photos bad and is making it known that they have an “open checkbook” certainly is. So, once again, ewwww.

Here’s my thing about all of these photos: I think they’re weird and creepy. It’s not like Kate was on a beach or at a hotel, she was staying at a relative’s private estate in France, and she was just hanging out with her husband, and some creepy old photographer hung out in some tree a couple miles down the road (look, judging by the quality of the photos, he was either really really far away or he needs to invest in a better camera if he wants to do this for a living) and took pictures. It’s not wrong because of who Kate Middleton is, it’s wrong because it’s a complete invasion of privacy. I’d feel the same way if there were pictures of Lady Gaga snorting a line off Terry Richardson‘s junk inside her own apartment. It would be like if you were walking around your own house naked and someone saw a crack in the blinds and snapped some photos. It’s weird. Please stop.

Unfortunately, no amount of weirdness can stop me from loving that one topless photo of Kate, the one up at the very top. She looks like she’s doing a little topless jig, and I will never not think that that’s the best thing that Kate Middleton has ever done.

UPDATE: Some Italian magazine claims to have over 200 new pictures that they plan on publishing tomorrow. The royal legal team is aiming to stop it. Will they succeed? Will tomorrow bring new photos of the royal titties? Only time will tell!

4 CommentsLeave a comment

  • The royal guards get a daily eyeful of this too? Really who undresses out in the open and doesn’t expect someone to peek?

    • Topless sunbathing is really normal though, so most European men are unfazed by it. You’ll have the pervy ones but for the most part, nobody bats an eyelid. And anyway you can’t compare having a peek to taking a photo from a tree, hundreds of metres away.

  • Well this reveal blows Halle Berry’s case that it’s safer to raise her daughter in Europe because they have laws to protect celebs from rogue photographers..