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11Shia LaBeouf Is Just Doing Porn Now

A photo of Shia LaBeouf

Question: is there a difference between doing a straight up porno, something with a ridiculous title like Moulin Splooge or H.R. Muff N’ Stuff or My Brown Eye, Not the Winker, The Stinker with established porn stars and the whole deal, and doing a more “legitimate” movie with a well-known director where Hollywood actors actually have sex on film? I’m just wondering, because Shia LaBeouf is doing one of those things, and it sounds a little shady to me.

See, Shia is doing a filmed called Nymphomania with controversial director Lars von Trier. The movie also stars Nicole Kidman, Stellan Skarsgård, and Willem Dafoe. And they’re going to have sex.

From MTV:

The “Melancholia” director’s next film is said to follow a woman throughout her sexual life. What gives “Nymphomaniac” that signature von Trier spin of controversy is that the Danish director plans to make two versions of his film, one less explicit than the other. Early talk even suggested that the hard-core version would include unsimulated sex scenes.

LaBeouf joining the cast seemed to imply that he too would participate in the explicit scenes, and he confirmed that he is willing to go as far as von Trier asks.

LaBeouf told MTV News that he knows what he’s getting into with “Nymphomaniac.” “[Von Trier] is very dangerous,” he said. “He’s the most dangerous dude that I’ve ever showed up for. I’m terrified. I’m so terrified, which is why I have to go. We’ll see what happens.”

But how far will LaBeouf and von Trier go with “Nymphomaniac”? “[The movie] is what you think it is,” LaBeouf said. “It is Lars von Trier, making a movie about what he’s making. For instance, there’s a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says we’re doing it for real. Everything that is illegal, we’ll shoot in blurred images. Other than that, everything is happening.”

“Nymphomaniac” won’t be the first movie to show actual sex onscreen. “Intimacy” from director Patrice Chéreau famously went there in 2001, but LaBeouf said von Trier’s movie will be different, adding that he and the rest of the cast are prepared for anything. “Whatever is asked. I think we all are,” he said. “I’ve seen ‘Intimacy.’ [Von Trier is] talking about something different. … It’s going to be a wild movie.”

Yeah, this grosses me out. There’s a way to be an edgy actor without, you know, actually having sex on camera. And if you want to have sex on camera, knock yourself out, but don’t play like you’re this big dedicated genius of an actor just because you do a literal sex scene.

Also, is the world really ready to see Shia LaBeouf’s penis again?

August 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Shia LaBeouf

11 Responses to “Shia LaBeouf Is Just Doing Porn Now”

  1. Simon Jadis says:

    I’m struggling to think of how I can explain how I’m less attracted to Shia in recent years than I used to be without coming across like a pedophile. Though I think that he’s about my age.

    It’s definitely the scruffy beard-stuff. That’s a no-no. If he grooms, I will totally watch this probably.

  2. Anonymous says:

    this is going to be amazing, what are you even talking about.who cares if they really have sex on camera, its just like when actors make out and their tongues are all up in each others face holes. i mean for all we know, edward and bella might actually have actually been consummating the marriage, how effing hilarious would that be.

  3. Isabel says:

    I think he is lying; Stellan Skarsgard did an interview about this movie and all the sex will be done by stand-ins. He jokingly said he was dissapointed because of that. And seriously; the guy is married with 8 kids (or 7, can’t remember), as if his wife is gonna let him do that -.-
    Shia sounds like a drunk fool more and more, I feel bad for his girlfriend. There are pics of them fighting all over the internet, I would fight with him too since he is so eager to screw other people on camera, calling it ‘art’. Bleh

  4. Gill Avila says:

    I want to volunteer to be a stunt c**k!

  5. Bryjin says:

    I love his movies (Lars Von Trier’s movies that is, not Shia LaDouche’s) but I’m not entirely sure about this one.
    But I’ll end up watching it no doubt.
    While in his other movies the actors might not have had actual sex, they’re still very explicit. For me there’s a definite difference between a movie where the actors (or stand ins) have actual sex to tell a story and a p*rn, where “actors” have actual sex to arouse the audience.
    If there’s one thing Trier movies doesn’t do it is “getting you in the mood”.
    They’re unsettling.
    You leave them feeling shaken to the core, disturbed

  6. Bryjin says:

    I love his movies (Lars Von Trier’s movies that is, not Shia LaDouche’s) but I’m not entirely sure about this one.
    But I’ll end up watching it no doubt.
    While in his other movies the actors might not have had actual sex, they’re still very explicit. For me there’s a definite difference between a movie where the actors (or stand ins) have actual sex to tell a story and a p*rn, where “actors” have actual sex to arouse the audience.
    If there’s one thing Trier movies doesn’t do it is “getting you in the mood”.
    They’re unsettling.
    You leave them feeling shaken to the core, disturbed, troubled … Not dying to have a wank.
    The sex scenes has a different purpose than the ones in an adult film.
    That being said I do find it “gross” if he were to demand that the actors have actual sex on screen.

  7. Nance says:

    The real sex thing, they do that ALL THE TIME in arthouse movies.

    Real sex in no-porn movies always come to me as the desperate move when you don’t have a good story/characters. Some exceptions maybe (like 1974′ The Score), but personnally I found that rolleyes inducing in general.

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