For the past twenty minutes or so, I’ve been trying to come up with a nice way of saying that Christina Aguilera looks like the offspring of Miss Piggy and Snooki, but it’s just not coming to me. I thought of being like “no, see a lot of people think that Christina resembles Snooki sometimes,” but that didn’t feel right. Then I remembered that a couple of weeks ago I said that Christina looks like Miss Piggy, and I made extra sure to say that I wasn’t trying to be catty (because I really wasn’t), but, you know, I don’t want to repeat myself. I just can’t come up with it, guys. I can’t think of a single way to speculate that Snooki is secretly some time travelling alien scientist who took a break from her social experiment on earth to impregnate herself with the DNA of a Muppet while still being nice. And on top of that, I can’t say that I sincerely believe that Snooki is somehow currently pregnant with Christina Aguilera without sounding crazy.
Do you guys have any suggestions?