Today's Evil Beet Gossip

New Taylor Swift Music! New Taylor Swift Music!

A photo of Taylor Swift

And that’s the cover of the very first single from her new album. Like, for real. That’s really it. It’s actually called “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Here’s the song itself:

Taylor is 22 years old. Does everyone remember that? 22. Good lord.

The new album is titled Red, which sounds very mature, and it will be released on October 22nd. A while back, someone asked Taylor about the songs she’d been writing for her new album, and she answered “they’re sad, if I’m being honest.” Because allegedly? A lot of the songs are about her parents’ divorce. Which, by the way, hasn’t happened yet. They’re just separated, they don’t want to actually file for divorce yet because they don’t want to hurt Taylor. Who, just in case you forgot, is 22 years old.

But hey, who do you think Taylor’s new song is about? Probably John Mayer, I’d wager. I imagine that Jake Gyllenhaal* and Taylor Lautner have long since found new beards to love and leave since their brushes with the Swift.

*Real quick, Taylor has gone from Jake Gyllenhall to this floppy-headed kid. What an unbelievable downgrade, am I right?

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Oh please… How many time has she had her heart broken over the last couple of months? This is getting old and pathetic. Get some new inspiration girl!

  • Your bar for young talent much lower than existed in years’ past.
    Townshend completed Tommy when he was 23. Think that one through. All the way. First.

    Get back to me, wouldja?

    • ^this! My gawd, music sucks lately. And this over-rated whiney bimbo just does my head in. Taylor, just stop! Quit your whining! Your life isn’t that bad! (what I’d give for just 24 hours with Jakey….he’d never walk right again!)

      • There’s still hope. I lost faith when Britney Spears became an international sensation (I was 12 and convinced ‘Baby One More Time’ would be an embarrassing, long forgotten hit), but today there are artists like Florence and the Machine, and Birdy, which means there’s still a market for REAL music!

  • It seriously blows my mind that anyone, ANYWHERE would listen to that song and think “wow, what a great track.” What an unbelievable joke. Who the fuck is listening to this shit?

  • Adele is the same age as swifty but from her lyrics you’d think there was decades between them. I don’t get the appeal.

  • she’s been with so many guys if it was anyone else we’d call her a whore.She’s been with John Mayer for God’s sake

  • Taylor Swift likes dark meat
    After publicly humiliating Harry Styles at the Brit Awards she was flirting with his black friends Jordan Stephen and Frank Ocean. After whoring with so many white men it’s about time Taylor Swift started whoring with niggers as well. Think about all of the new songs she could write because of the new boyfriends.