It’s Christina Aguilera! And her creepy, bloat-faced boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, who’s looking, dare I say it, a little worn out. Is Christina keeping him up late at night? Well I don’t know, but one thing is for certain—it’s not pancake makeup that’s keeping him up, whatever that means. It’s a thinly-veiled reference to the fact that Christina—oh my God—has left the building without her customary seventeen layers of acrylic and shimmer powder and polyurethane on, and we should celebrate that, really, because it’s like Christmas in that it happens maybe once a year (twice, if you’re one of those freaks who celebrate Christmas in July).
Can we also talk about how epic the singing competition shows are going to be this year? We’ve got Mariah Carey on ‘American Idol’, Christina Aguilera on ‘The Voice’, and Britney Spears on ‘X-Factor’. Which show do you think’s going to bring in the highest ratings? I mean, I don’t even watch these crap shows and I’m curious to know which of the three is going to blow the other two out of the water.
Who’s going to reign this year?