Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Michael Lohan Has High Hopes for His Newest Kid

A photo of Kate Major

And yes, that is a recent photo of the lucky mother-to-be, Kate Major. Look at that bump! And she’s supposed to be in her first trimester. I know that all pregnancies look different, but doesn’t she look a little farther along than that? WHAT IF IT’S TWINS?!

Oh, I already have the answer to that question, by the way, the “what if it’s twins” thing. See, if it’s twins, then that will just be double the fun, and we’ll have the next Mary Kate and Ashley on our hands. We know that because of this quote that Huffington Post got from one of Kate Major’s “friends”:

“It is for sure his child and they are back together,” a friend of Kate’s tells me. “They are both very excited about the news and can’t wait for the arrival of the baby. Michael is already picking out names and hopes they have a daughter as beautiful and talented as Lindsay. This is a second chance for him to be the parent he always wanted to be.”

I know that it takes babies a little time to learn how to walk and all that, but could someone get on creating a miracle so that baby can start running as soon as it exits the womb? Because this whole thing is just going to be a giant ol’ mess. If Kate does give birth to a little girl, then Michael is going to be taking head shots before the rest of her body has left the vaginal canal. It’s going to be insane. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually wanted to name his new daughter Lindsay, all in the name of second chances.

This whole thing reminds me of this V.C. Andrews series, which is neat. It’s the Gemini series, it’s all about these twins, a boy and a girl, and their mother favored the son, so when he died in an accident when he was a kid, she cut the daughter’s hair and dressed her up in his clothes and called her by his name. It was cool for a while, but then she got her period and then got pregnant, so things got a little awkward. My point is that if Michael and Kate have a son, then whoa, that boy better watch himself before he gets a raggedy ass weave.

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