Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Look, It’s Jessica Simpson’s Baby!

A photo of Jessica Simpson's baby, Maxwell Drew

I’m sure a time will come when I don’t show you guys every single picture that Jessica Simpson tweets of her baby, just like I’m sure there will come a time when we don’t have to give you guys a Katie Holmes update just so that you all know that she’s still alive. But today, as you can see, is certainly not that day.

LOOK AT HER CHUBBY LITTLE CHEEKS! Aww, you guys, she’s sitting outside in the garden like a grown up! And her precious little striped onesie with the little feet, and her little hands that you can’t really see in this picture but you know that they’re there because she’s a baby and she has adorable little baby hands! Maxwell Drew is just my favorite, she’s my absolute favorite.

Well, until next time, friends ….

12 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I hate to be the one to interrupt you’re reverie, but it looks to me like whoever was taking that picture was more interested in showing off the backyard than the baby. I’ve got pretty good vision and I’m having a hard time making out her features.

    • Perhaps they wanted to hide the fact that, actually, she’s an ugly baby (and to judge by the few close-ups we’ve seen, I’d say that’s a distinct possibility). Oh well, I’m sure she’ll grow into it – her mama sure is gorgeous!

      • Damn, talk about backhanded compliments…. Tell the truth Harriet, you found your first gray pube today, didn’t you?

      • It wasn’t a backhanded compliment at all. It was an insult. Since when do all babies have to be cute (especially newborns)? Oh yeah, I forgot, it’s only okay to judge the attractiveness of adults (and don’t worry, I judge myself just as harshly as I judge others)…Besides, what do gray pubes have to do with thinking someone has an ugly baby? You just can’t help thinking about my puss, can you? ;P

      • I’ve honestly never thought about your dried up ‘ol twat there Harriet. I was just trying to figure out what might cause an adult to comment that a baby is “ugly.” Hey Sarah, we need an insult that’s the female equivalent of “bag of dicks.” bag of tits won’t work, because, you know….tits rock! Bag of clits? Bag of taint? Help me out ladies…..

      • I do quite like “bag of taints.” Or we could just use one of my father’s favorite phrases, “… bag of smashed assholes.” I think I’ve talked about that one once or twice here.

      • I’m a big fan of the word “taint” myself, but I feel like it’s pretty gender neutral…besides, if “bag of tits” won’t work because “tits rock” (which they do), then bag of dicks shouldn’t be an insult either…my dried up ol’ twat happens to like dicks very much.

    • Bag of smashed assholes it is, in honor of Sarah’s father. From this day hence, any comments made declaring a baby ugly, no matter how ugly the child may be, shall be given this moniker.

  • I wouldn’t leave my baby out of my closely attended proximity since that coyote carried away her beloved Daisy Dog ..