Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lady Gaga’s Got the Scariest Perfume Ad Ever.

photo of lady gaga perfume ad pictures
Seriously, is this not one of the most disturbing visuals you’ve ever experienced in your life? Because for me, it is. It really, really is. All of the little people hanging off of her like gangly leeches? It’s the stuff that nightmares are made of, and that’s entirely aside from the fact that Lady Gaga’s all stripped down, save for the Batman-or-Catwoman mask she’s wearing.

The fragrance claims its the “… first ever black Eau de Parfum ever,” which, roughly translated, means that it’s going to stain the hell out of your clothes, and hell, maybe even your skin.

Gaga Tweeted this ad, with the following caption:

i won’t lie I’m a bit nervous. its been awhile since i’ve shared some work with you. But i’m so proud of Steven+I, we really did not sleep!

I just love Lady Gaga’s Tweets. Sigh.

Seriously, though, this is the perfume that’s supposed to smell like blood and semen. … What, you don’t remember that? Back in January of 2011, Lady Gaga claimed that she’d soon be marketing a perfume that smelled “like blood and semen.” And this is it! However, truth be told, it doesn’t, and for that, I’m sure everyone interested in purchasing this perfume just because Lady Gaga’s name is on it, is heaving a collective sigh. No, this is actually what the perfume is supposed to smell like:

” … tears of belladonna, crushed heart of tiger orchidea with a black veil of incense, pulverized apricot and the combinative essences of saffron and honey drops.”

(Whatever the f-ck ‘combinative’ is supposed to mean.)

The fragrance itself, however, honestly sounds like it’s going to smell pretty good. One of my most-favorite-of-all-time perfumes is Tom Ford’s Black Orchid, which sounds a lot like this. According to Ford’s design team, Black Orchid is … well, it’s this:

Bergamot, Citrus, Mandarin, Black Gardenia, Jasmine, Ylang-Ylang, Lotus Wood, Orchid, Spicy Floral Accord, Orchid (Tom Ford Black Accord), Patchouli, Sandalwood, Incense, Vanilla.

Similar, I guess. It’s got some of the same notes, so I’m sure it’s not going to be way different.

If you’re one of those, however, who is heavily disappointed in the fact that Lady Gaga’s perfume will not, in fact, smell like bodily excrement, here’s a gimme for you:

“[Blood and semen] is in the perfume but it doesn’t smell like it. You just get sort of the after feeling of sex from the semen and the blood is sort of primal. And the blood was taken from my own blood sample so it’s like a sense of having me on your skin.”

Just what I’ve always wanted, how about you?

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