Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Now We’re Supposed to Believe That Katie Didn’t Have Any Dirt on Tom

A photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

From TMZ:

Tom Cruise did NOT settle his divorce with Katie Holmes because he feared she might spill secrets about the actor — this according to Tom’s lawyer.

Attorney Bert Fields scoffs at reports claiming Tom was fearful of what Katie might reveal, telling TMZ, “Tom had nothing to hide and did nothing in the agreement to hide anything.  People are just making this stuff up.”

As for the child custody arrangement, it appears Tom will indeed have the “significant” contact with Suri that we reported about last week.  Fields said, “Tom will definitely have a meaningful relationship with his daughter, but I can’t talk about specifics of the agreement.”

Fields said Tom’s primary concern in the settlement was Suri and added Tom was “pleased we could work out how Suri will be treated and dealt with.”

And, on the subject of Katie Holmes, Fields said, “I don’t think Tom is bitter.  He’s sad it came to this,” adding, “The media firestorm which is replete with bogus information is unpleasant for him.”

Ok, so let’s review. The divorce itself didn’t have anything to do with Scientology, and the settlement didn’t have anything to do with some secrets Katie’s been keeping. Then why did any of this happen? What other possible reasons could there be for any of this? Katie filed for divorce because … see, I can’t even think of any other reason, because Scientology is such a huge part of who Tom Cruise is now, and any possible reason for divorce could be directly linked to it.

But seriously, “Tom had nothing to hide and did nothing in the agreement to hide anything”? Really? We heard about the divorce just 14 days ago, and the whole thing is already settled. Tom gave up custody of Suri without anything resembing a fight, and he and his people have been trying so hard to make him look good in the meantime. What other reason would Tom have for agreeing to everything so quickly? Sure, you could say that he didn’t want to put Suri through a messy divorce, but I wouldn’t really buy that. I think he’d be more concerned with himself and how hard he’d be dragged through the mud if this thing lasted for months than Suri’s well-being.

Really, I’m still just waiting for Katie to sneakily release information about Tom and his gang of crazies to the media. I am so, so excited for when that information starts leaking.

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I used to mediate divorce and parenting plans, I am telling you with 99.9% certainty that he does NOT want information about himself made public. In a situation where a parent honestly has/had committed no wrong, that parent will usually fight tooth and nail to maintain an equal parenting schedule as the spouse declaring divorce. To say that he didn’t want to drag Suri through a long or messy process is malarkey. A seperation or divorce can be managed respectfully and confidentially without giving away shared parental custody. This cloak and dagger settlement does nothing to assure us that Tom Cruise is ‘generous’ or the ‘bigger person’, it shows us that Tom Cruise was scared, and probably a bad, bad, little munchkin.

  • As a side note, can we (as a country) start referring to Tom as a munchkin? It’s a nickname ripe for pun.
    -munchkin impossible: ghost protocol
    -Rock of Lilliputians
    -Top Munchkin
    -Jerry McMunchkin
    I could do this ALL day, As I have a cold and don’t have to work.

    • I like this banter we have going on. I think it could be a ‘thing’, finding silly diminutive nicknames for Tom Cruise projects…maybe we should start a tumblr for it.

  • I totally believe that he settled so quickly just to hide all kinds of crazy sh_t from the public, but I´m also totally buying star´s plot which claims he has some kind of master plan which consists of letting Katie think she´s getting exactly what she wanted by keeping Suri´s primary custody while he only gets visitation rights, that way he can manipulate little Suri every time he´s near her, and attack Katie in a way so low from now on until their daughter turns 23 or something. It would be a win win situation for HIM, I mean, he gets to keep Katie silent about him and his cult because she has already signed that confidentiality agreement, he also gets to see Suri and (in his mind) he might even turn her against her mother eventually, AND he gets to continue driving poor Katie crazy by doing so for the next 15 years (and boy, oh boy! wouldn´t he just love that, being the little patient, manipulative, sociopath that he is). I´m SO done with his movies for good. We should all hit him where it hurts: $$.

  • Settling quickly DIDN’T help to hide all the crazy shit from the public. There are so many stories about Scientology and the way people are treated etc. coming out right now. Like anyone is going to believe that TC had no part in any of it.

    • Exactly… Nothing he and his cult members are doing as some form of damage control is helping to erase the public´s perception of just how insane they all are, it´s actually the opposite. And I don´t think there´s anything they can do to save his image right now, other than hiding under a rock for the next 3 years or so, LOL. That´s why I do believe he´s angrier than ever, that this whole scrutiny isn´t going away anytime soon. And it shouldn´t, just because other sites like tmz are trying to make him look good doesn´t mean anybody is buying it. We all know he´s crazy and that´s how he shall be remembered.