Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quotables: Jessica Biel is Not Super Busy Babysitting Justin Timberlake

photo of jessica biel and justin timberlake pictures

“I had no say whatsoever [in the ring]. I don’t micromanage.”

This is what Jessica had to say this past Friday to In Style magazine, which is really, really funny, considering we just ran a story saying how Jessica Biel is super busy babysitting Justin Timberlake and micromanaging him. LOLZ Jessica Biel, you’re so funny.

Now honestly, I don’t give two shits (or even one) as to whether Jessica Biel had a “say” in her engagement ring. I really don’t, because that’s not what’s important to me. It’s not even the fact that she doesn’t “micromanage,” because duh we all know that Jessica Biel totally micromanages. No, what’s the *most* amusing part of this entire thing is to me is the fact that Jessica Biel knows that we know that she micromanages Justin Timberlake, and yet she goes for the hot-button phrase every. single. time. Like, lay off the doth protesteth too much thing for a second, ’cause you’re only making yourself look jumpy, defensive, paranoid, and much like the lady who’s got to go for the throat every single time, wondering aloud, “WELL WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, HM?”

What’s next, girl, how much you trust Justin Timberlake and you just know that he’s totally going to do what’s right for the whole duration of your marriage, which is like, duh, going to definitely last ’til both of you shall die and fall apart or whatever it is?

15 CommentsLeave a comment

  • except this interview was done months ago and that rumor from the National Enq of all places came out this week. Blog Fail x2. Hater

  • Being in gossip you should know that even though the mag comes out this month the actual interview took place months ago. DUH! YOU STILL FAIL!

  • There’s at least a 2month gap between the interview and when the magazine actually comes out. How do you not know that???

      • it must really suck to be a writer and get paid minimum wage to write for some blog. I mean this is the lowest of low for writers. What’s the matter couldn’t get a job at a real publication….I can see why. Prayer are with you while your stuck living in mommy’s basement

      • I wanted to find out how much editors and bloggers made, so I did a salary survey. Note that this is a salary estimate and she may be freelance, hourly, or a variant as EB is an LLC.

        Based on her qualifications and duties, her range would be pretty large. Between $17k (for a baby-blogger, which she isn’t) and $66k for a Senior Editor (which, she would be with 4 years experience; if memory serves, I’ve seen her stuff since 2009 at least.)

        Median salary for her position (as I guess it to be) would be $55k. That isn’t minimum wage. In fact, that salary is at or above median household income for the US and just below mean household income. As she’s married, I’d say she’s doing OK; especially for her age.

        If she’s making above those figures then she’s kicking butt.

        If she were a copywright or editor for a print publication she wouldn’t make much more, so I’d say her job is likely comfy. (The field tops out at $98k.)

        She gets to sit at home in her jimmy-jams and poke at the keyboard. Not bad work if you can find it. :)

        Oh. And Jessica doesn’t have a prayer of keeping Timberlake. Look at his expression in the above photograph…

        Does his face not say: “SOMEONE HELP ME!”?

        Yeah. I think it does.