Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Blind Items, Revealed!

Today is a magical day. Or, well, yesterday was a magical day, but Sarah and I were busy celebrating America’s birthday, so we’re just getting to the magic today. See, yesterday CDAN revealed tons and tons of blind items. Let’s stop with the preamble and get right to those, all right?

This A list celebrity and former singer who seems to always wear sunglasses was out over the weekend when she stopped to watch a woman on the street singing for money. The celebrity said, “You are better than I ever was. Honestly, so is everyone.” She then actually laughed and dropped $500 into the bucket.

Who could that be? Any guesses? You don’t have to guess, because we already know it was Victoria Beckham! See how fun this is? It’s only just beginning!

What A list pop singer called up the boyfriend she had dumped two weeks earlier and begged him to go out with her. She ended up getting drunk and doing way more on their date than she intended, but knew she needed to take all precautions to avoid ending up naked in bed with her ex which is what he had proposed when he called two days before.

That’s our dear Katy Perry!

Talk about not having a say in the naming of your child. This actress who is C list based on talent and A list based on name recognition has been told by her husband what they are naming the baby and he has already trademarked the baby’s name even though she is not even halfway through her pregnancy. Apparently the husband has already even drawn up business plans and wants the actress to focus more on marketing products he thinks will be a fit between her and the baby. Does she have a say in this? Not really.

That one is apparently poor Megan Fox getting bossed around by ol’ Brian Austin Green.

Today I wanted to tell you the history of this A list movie actress. She would never do television. Wait. She would never do scripted television. Anyway, our actress has had lots of high profile boyfriends and every one of them has said they have never felt as free as the day they were finally free of the actress. One actor said it was quite possibly the happiest day of his life and he had to act sad at some premiere and all he wanted to do was shout and scream. Our actress is a clinger. A big clinger. As in if she decides to date you then you are going to be with her until you do something so egregious that she has not choice but to leave you. You can’t break up with her. It does not work that way. One boyfriend tried to break up and then went and shot some movie on the other side of the world. Third day there, the actress showed up at his hotel room door with a suitcase saying she was there for a visit. One actor wanted to break up with the actress so much that he cheated on her. She got upset but the actress was not going to leave. He then got the idea of getting caught while cheating. She broke up with him after that but would still call him everyday and talk to him. That one was before caller i.d.

One actor who lived with the actress said that he never asked her to move in but that she just kept bringing stuff over and he never noticed and then one day he realized she was there all the time. It took him years to get away from her. Even in her current long term relationship, her significant other knows he can do anything he wants and that she is never going to leave him. He has done a lot and even been caught, but she just will not go anywhere. They can go weeks without seeing each other but she calls. All the time. All day. Texts all day too. Hundreds of times a day. Her significant other hired an assistant just to respond to the texts. Apparently his life is so much easier since he thought of it. One week of telling the assistant what to say in the texts and now one year later, the actress is none the wiser. Of course the assistant has got to see plenty of naked photos of the actress. She is big photo sender. She is also a big hypochondriac. She wonders aloud about everything she eats and how it will affect her and would like your opinion too. She has very few friends because they are subject to the same type of clingy. Not very many people can deal with that kind of constant barrage of attention and neediness.

And that one, friends, is the lovely Gwyneth Paltrow.

See how much fun that was?  Isn’t it great to hear how Victoria Beckham feels about her Spice Girls days, and how much of an absolute crazy Gwyneth Paltrow is?  Don’t you just feel better about everything now?  Then go check out the rest of them!

1 CommentLeave a comment