Today's Evil Beet Gossip

It’s Here: The Full ‘Breaking Dawn Part 2’ Trailer!

This is so exciting. I am so excited. Where are you, Twihards? Come and JOIN IN MY EXCITEMENT OVER HERE so that I don’t look like the stinky kid who’s got a new ball and no one wants to play with him because he stinks! COME! It’s the official ‘Breaking Dawn Part 2‘ Trailer! Get some!

Also, did you know, obsessors, that today is Edward Cullen’s 111th birthday? Because it is! About the trailer (and the birthday), the New York Daily News has this to say:

Twi-hards are ringing in Edward Cullen’s 111th birthday in style.

Summit feted the fictional vampire, played by Robert Pattinson, by releasing the latest trailer for “The Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn, Part 2” early Wednesday.

The star of the one-minute, 18-second trailer, however, isn’t the long-in-the-tooth Cullen, but his new bride Bella (Kristen Stewart), who is now a fully glittering immortal in her own right.

“After 18 years of being utterly ordinary, I finally found I could shine, I was born to be a vampire,” says Bella.

“I didn’t expect you to seem so … you,” says Jacob (Taylor Lautner).

It isn’t all doe-eyes and kisses for the Cullens, though, as the Volturi, the vampire covent led by Michael Sheen’s Aro, vow to wipe out our heroes because they have birthed precocious Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy).

Sheen shows great range, proving he can play both a vampire and a werewolf, which he did in the “Underworld” movies.

“To maintain our secret has never been more impertative,” he seethes as he rallies his troops.

And finally, for men who escorted their girlfriends to the first four “Twilight” movies, there’s the payoff of a big battle between the Volturi and Bella’s allied band of werewolves and vamps.

“I’ll never let anybody hurt you,” Bella vows to her daughter.

Happy birthday, Edward!

So yeah, Happy Birthday, Edward Cullen! … Oh.

Oh.

My God.

I can’t believe I’m wishing a fictional character birthday wishes. I’ve officially lost my damn mind.