Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The MTV Movie Awards Were Last Night …

A photo of Kristen Stewart

… But I didn’t watch them. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t watch any of the awards shows. Mostly because I don’t have cable, but also I don’t really care. Is that horrible? I’d much rather just read about everything and look at all the photos afterwards than spend hours watching everyone moving in their outfits and winning awards. The only exception is the Oscars, but only when I can bitchily critique the fashion with my BFF.

But anyway, yeah, those MTV Movie Awards. I didn’t watch them, but I read about them, and looked at the pictures, as usual. Does that sound too apathetic? If it does, it’s probably because Breaking Dawn beat Hunger Games and Deathly Hallows for Movie of the Year. I probably knew on some level that I lived in that world, the world where horribly written vampire movies are preferred over legitimately good movies, but it just sort of hurts to have that thrown directly in your face, you know?

You can go ahead and read the list of winners, ant then we can commiserate in the comments. Sound good?

Movie of the Year
The Hunger Games
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
The Help
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

Best Male Performance
Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
Ryan Gosling, Drive
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 50/50
Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games – WINNER
Channing Tatum, The Vow

Best Female Performance
Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games – WINNER
Kristin Wiig, Bridesmaids
Emma Stone, Crazy, Stupid, Love
Emma Watson, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Best Hero
Captain America – Captain America: The First Avenger
Harry Potter – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part Two – WINNER
Jenko – 21 Jump Street
Katniss Everdeen – The Hunger Games
Thor – Thor

Best Comedic Performance
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids – WINNER
Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids
Zach Galifianakis, The Hangover Part II
Jonah Hill, 21 Jump Street
Oliver Cooper, Project X

Breakthrough Performance
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Liam Hemsworth, The Hunger Games
Elle Fanning, Super 8
Shailene WoodleyThe Descendants – WINNER

Best Cast
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
The Hunger Games
21 Jump Street
The Help

Best On-Screen Transformation
Elizabeth Banks, The Hunger Games – WINNER
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Johnny Depp, 21 Jump Street
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Colin Farrell, Horrible Bosses

Best Fight
Daniel Radcliffe vs. Ralph Fiennes, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson vs. Alexander Ludwig, The Hunger Games – WINNER
Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill vs. Kid Gang, 21 Jump Street
Tom Hardy vs. Joel Edgerton, Warrior
Tom Cruise vs. Mikael Nyqvist, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

Best Kiss
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, Crazy, Stupid, Love
Rupert Grint and Emma Watson, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games
Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, The Vow
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 – WINNER

Best Gut-Wrenching Performance
Bridesmaids (Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McClendond Ellie Kemper) – WINNER
The Help (Bryce Dallas Howard)
21 Jump Street (Jonah Hill and Rob Riggle)
Drive (Ryan Gosling)
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (Tom Cruise)

Best On-Screen Dirtbag
Bryce Dallas Howard, The Help
Jon Hamm, Bridesmaids
Jennifer Aniston, Horrible Bosses – WINNER
Colin Farrell, Horrible Bosses
Oliver Cooper, Project X

Best Music
“Party Rock Anthem,” LMFAO (21 Jump Street) – WINNER
“A Real Hero,” College & Electric Youth (Drive)
“The Devil Is in the Details,” Chemical Brothers (Hanna)
“Impossible,” Figurine (Like Crazy)
“Pursuit of Happiness,” Kid Cudi (Steve Aoki remix) (Project X)

Instant Cult Classic Award – Project X
MTV Generation Award – Johnny Depp
Trailblazer Award – Emma Stone

Is it weird that Jennifer Lawrence won Best Female Performance and Josh Hutcherson won Best Male Performance, but Breaking Dawn still won Best Movie? And Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson weren’t even nominated for Best Performance? How can the Twilight movies still haunt us like this?

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I did not know that the Twilight movies had come out so recently. I really, really love good vampire fiction, which is the primary reason for which I detest Twilight.

    Emily, I do the exact same thing with awards shows (and the news–why sit and watch for an hour what I can read in five minutes?). I read about awards shows later (usually on here), watch Fashion Police discuss it, and I’m satisfied.

    MY one exception isn’t the Oscars. It’s the Kids Choice Awards.

    Because adulthood.

    • I watched the Kids Choice Awards last year! I believe it’s the one show I actually did watch. I think it was when I was watching my roommate’s puppy, and I thought she’d like it. But yeah, it was pretty awesome. I’ve always been a big fan of the sliming though!

      • I am really, really fussy about any kind of mess touching my skin (I eat pizza, hot dogs, and cheeseburgers with a fork and knife, which I am told is “alarming to watch”), but even *I* kind of like the sliming. Possibly because I imagine that they must have really nice courtesy showers backstage somewhere for the victims.

        I tend to watch it because I have some of the television tastes of a fourteen-year-old girl, and I’m following enough of the people who go every year that I might as well watch. But turning it on for the benefit of a puppy sounds like just about the most adorable reason for watching ever.

      • Oh my goodness, me too. I eat everything with a fork and knife. And chicken wings and all that, no chance. I can’t even stand it. But I think my appreciation of the sliming comes from the time that I was at Dollywood when they had the Nickelodeon shows, and my cousin and I got picked to get slimed, but when we were walking towards the stage the guy that had picked us said “no, the pretty one,” and sent me back to my seat. I was probably about 10, and I’ve had a mild obsession ever since.

        I remember being really sad last year that I wasn’t as familiar with the nominees though. I knew iCarly, of course, and I’d just started to watch Victorious, but a lot of it was new. Are there any other newer shows that I should check out. I trust your judgement!

      • ALSO, I got my hair cut a couple of weeks ago, and the guy that did it looked a whole, whole lot like your Twitter profile picture. He kept trying to make me talk since I’m quiet and awkward, and I have these earrings that look like milk cartons, and he was like “those would be a lot cuter if they had missing children on them,” and then when I left he was like “when you make your next appointment, ask for Simon.” I was flabbergasted. But alas, I’m fairly certain that you don’t cut hair in Tennessee.

        That’s all!

      • That is a very upsetting childhood story. I can understand the obsession, however.

        iCarly is ENDING in November, which is so hard for me to believe. Though it took a little while to “catch up” in terms of how fond I am of it, I now like Victorious every bit as much as I like iCarly. While I watch some Nickelodeon shows rarely and more as a joke (Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide, to which I object on excessive title grounds, and Big Time Rush, which is a show about hot guys and constant unnecessary sound effects), I am DEADLY serious about my iCarly and Victorious. I honestly cannot think of any new, similar shows, on Nickelodeon or elsewhere, that I would recommend. The vast majority of that genre is kind of terrible, and tends to coast along on attractive actors and dominating the tween market by default.

        I *can* recommend an Australian teen drama called Dance Academy. It’s not really a comedy and it’s for a slightly older/more sophisticated audience. I did not think that even *I* would watch it, but I did. It’s incredibly addictive, and one of the very few shows that I watch that don’t have superpowers, magic, and/or spaceships. I was excited out of my mind when one of the stars retweeted me a couple of weeks ago.

      • You are not even the first person to mention seeing a bizarre doppelganger of me, which is really funny, because … not a lot of people resemble me in the slightest. I’m tickled that you thought of me.

        While in the grand scheme of things, I’m basically there, no, I definitely don’t cut hair (except for my own, because I am simply MADE of class), and I live in North Carolina. That is … so weird. Perhaps he was a criminal on the run and passed through Raleigh or Boone or Asheville, saw me, and decided that NO ONE would suspect him if he got a wig and some plastic surgery and assumed my identity?

        That seems like the most reasonable theory to me.

      • Oh no, not iCarly. Please, I can’t. It’s too awesome. But I was sorely disappointed with that Ned’s Declassified business because I loved the book that is was supposed to be based on so much, and it’s, you know, not like the book at all. I’m familiar with Big Time Rush, but only because they had a game on Neopets. But I’ll give Dance Academy a shot! I’ve been like “please, new shows, find me,” so that will be fun!

        But ahhhh, I love Boone! I’m in that little corner of Tennessee where Virginia and North Carolina are just a hop and a skip away, and Boone has always been so lovely. I used to go to Grandfather Mountain every summer. Memories! At least we know that the criminal impostor had a lovely trip, and I think there’s comfort in that.

  • Running a site about gossip and what’s going on with celebritys I think it is your job to watch Award Shows like this one. Not giving a fuck about anything is not always the right thing to do.

    • She reads about them. Isn’t that enough?

      It’s not always the job of a commenter to be persnickety.

      • Yeah, I’ve been managing these past couple of years without seeing any awards shows. If I watched everything that people think I’m supposed to watch as a gossip blogger, then I would have time for absolutely nothing else.