See, because slots 5, 4, 3, and 2 are pretty predictable (it’s really no surprise that Oprah’s on there), but number one? I was kind of floored. The list was based on the world’s most “powerful” celebrities, and … well, the only “power” vibe I get from number one is the power to make young people fall in love so hard that they forget that they’re actually nothing but stupid little dancing bumblebees.
Here’s the list, but I’m going to make you work for number one.
#5 – Lady Gaga
#4 – Rihanna
#3 - Justin Bieber
#2 – Oprah
Jump in for number one!
#1 – Jennifer Lopez
Like, what? Jennifer Lopez? The number one most powerful celebrity in the world? Bet your ass Ben Affleck‘s totally hating on himself right about now. I’m willing to bet that silly little Jennifer Garner never made a Forbes list. This is probably why he’s such a huge alcoholic. It’s a permanent side-effect of Jennifer Lopez withdrawal. And now she’s with that little boy, Casper Smart. Isn’t that a kick in the ass?
As for you, Jen, congratulations. I like you a lot, aside from the Casper Smart thing (sorry girl, he’s just major skeevy; I’m all down for the young dudes, but this one looks like Ratso from The Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue), and if this is your thing, have at it. Forbes is awesome, and you’re pretty cool, too.