Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Don’t Know If I Like Snooki Anymore

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Ever since Snooki announced her pregnancy, she’s kind of been rubbing me the wrong way. I used to really enjoy Snooki and her zany ways, but lately it just seems like she’s lost a lot of her spunk. And no, I’m not trying to say that I’m bummed that she can’t get wasted and make a fool of herself anymore, because that was never what I liked about Snooki. I liked her silly interviews and the way she honestly didn’t care what people thought about her, but she still seemed to be a decent person. But ever since she got pregnant, she’s just looked so gloomy, and most of her interviews are sort of boring. And then there are interviews like this one, where she just comes off as kind of a bitch.

Her demeanor: She is aloof, bored, petulant, and rarely smiles. When a videographer on set lifts his camera in her direction, the quickness with which the features of her face ignite is borderline frightening. When the lens turns away, they extinguish just as rapidly.

On filming: “When we film I really don’t care what I look like,” she says. “I just enjoy it and have fun. That’s why people love us. I’m overweight because we’re drinking and eating bad, but when I’m not filming I never drink and I eat healthy all the time.” She blames her behavior on restrictions imposed by the show—a persuasive defense. “You can’t leave without a film crew with you,” she explains. “If you want to leave, you have to tell them an hour before so they can get ready. There are no cell phones, no TV, and you can’t read. You can’t write or pass notes. You can’t listen to music, you can’t do anything. It’s kind of like being in jail for two months—and people wonder why all we do is drink! It’s because there’s nothing else to do! It passes the time and makes it fun. If you’re sober the whole time, you will go insane and kill yourself.”

On exercise: At the time of the interview, she does look remarkably slim, crediting her toned physique to yoga, running, cardio, and crunches. “I’m really sore right now, I can barely move,” she says. “But I love it all! I just like to be in pain in general. It feels good.”

On being bullied: “I am probably the number one most-bullied celebrity,” she says. “I really don’t go with trends, I don’t try to fit in like everyone else does in Hollywood. I just like to be different and I don’t care.” In terms of fashion, Snooki says that despite her sudden wealth she still gets all of her clothing at the mall-stores-turned-e-commerce-outlets Mandee’s and Wet Seal. “I’ve been bullied all my life. In high school me and my girlfriends were freshmen and we were all pretty girls in cheerleading and stuff, so the older girls would bully us because all of their guys wanted to hang out with us.”

A word to bullies: “I would say grow up, like, seriously. I mean, people used to say I was fat when I was the hottest thing ever. Imagine what they say now.”

On being a mother: “I can’t wait to meet my kid!” she says. “Everyone will be surprised to see a different side of me. I’m loving, caring, sensitive, protective, and very maternal, no matter what people might think.”

On making Snooki baby products: “My ideas are endless,” she says. “Who wouldn’t want a leopard-print rattle or a cheetah-print bib?”

I hope nothing’s going on that would make Snooki seem sad or depressed or whatever it is that’s been going on for the past couple of months. Despite everything, I’ll always love her. I just wish she’d be a little more, you know, Snooki.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  • She thinks that she’s the number one bullied celebrity? That is fucking hilarious. I think Kim Kardashian tops that list.

  • I don’t think she comes off as a bitch at all. In fact, I find this interview to make her seem much more likeable than I ever thought she was.