“I want to see what this person looks like, turn the lights on for me because I really want to achieve some sort of confirmation. Let’s have a look…Come here, let’s see you. Let’s see how your mental illness looks in the daylight. … It’s you, is it? Oh, dear. I was hoping that your personality was just a result of physical beauty. But then I saw you. I thought, ‘This guy’s confident, probably, because he’s incredibly handsome,’ but look at you. You look like somebody who’s fallen off the outside of a church. And what is it that you have rattling around your mind, some bizarre combination of alcohol and idiocy…some cocktail of nothing. And yet the confidence to continue shouting. They say of course, don’t they, that empty vessels make the most noise. What an enormous echo of nothingness from you. I know on some level, despite your physical appearance to an ape, that you’re a human being. I think silence is your friend. I think keep your lips firmly, firmly clamped together. Because everything that comes out of your mouth, from your idiotic announcements to your disgusting halitosis that’s coming through this room, is an abomination.”
That would be Russell Brand, or if we’re speaking frankly and plainly, “awesomeness embodied,” telling a heckler who yelled “Katy Perry” intermittently during the first half of Russell Brand’s comedy set at a casino in Atlantic City earlier in the week.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not a very big Russell Brand fan. And generally, I think anything that comes out of his mouth is contrived, empty, and for the gratifying benefit of hearing himself speak, but in this case, I think I’m willing to make an exception. Come on. Won’t you?
Update: Here’s the video!