Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Q: Why is Lindsay Headed to the White House?

photo of lindsay lohan pictures red hair star magazine pics
A: BECAUSE SHE WAS INVITED. Oh, I could just die.

Apparently Lindsay was invited to this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, which’ll be held at the Washington Hilton, Fishbowl DC confirms. From the FB:

Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren and her husband, John Coale, have something of a tradition landing unusual, blockbuster guests for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. One year it was Ozzy Osbourne, the next it was Kim Kardashian and last year it was former V.P. hopeful and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

This year they seem to have outdone themselves. They’re bringing Trouble, otherwise known as actress Lindsay Lohan, to the dinner as well as to socialite Tammy Haddad‘s and Hilary Rosen‘s infamous garden brunch on Saturday afternoon.

The notorious party girl will have her pick of festivities this weekend. For the media’s sake, we sure hope they keep Lohan on a loose leash!

OK, first, this is just stupid. It’s not like there’s really any true marketability in inviting Lindsay to the f-cking White House, just like there was none when it was Kim Kardashian. This is just really dumb. I mean, what is she going to talk about with these people? Getting Michael Lohan into some kind of political office? Legalizing meth labs, perhaps? Enforcing strict Botox laws like clinics who administer shots have to give their services a lifetime guarantee?

Incidentally, have you ever heard of the “curse” that’s plagued the dinner in recent years? Rumor has it that there’s always a big, disastrous event that occurs in the days leading up to the dinner. In 1993, it was the Siege in Waco, Texas. In 1995, the Oklahoma City Bombing. In 1999, it was the Columbine Shootings. In 2007, it was the Virginia Tech Massacre. 2010 brought the bomb-attempt in Times Square, and last year’s dinner was held right after the worst tornado outbreak in almost a century. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME IT’S SAFE TO INVITE LINDSAY LOHAN TO THIS YEAR’S EVENT? Who plans this stuff?

All I know is that maybe if I started eating crack cocaine right off the spoon and stuffing my vagina with red beanbags full of radioactive matter, I might be invited to a White House Correspondents’ dinner. I know I’m not a journalist who covers White House happenings, and I know that I have to have some kind of political (?) pull to get an invite, but I don’t live all that far from DC. It could work. I could be considered part of the extended metro area. I’ve been writing these people for three years now to secure a seat, and what do I get? I get an annual Christmas card from the White House. I’m apparently doing something wrong.

The dinner’s going to be this Saturday. You know. If the world doesn’t f-cking blow up before then.

4 CommentsLeave a comment

  • First a Kardashian, now a Lohan, Greta Van Susteren has made my one of the most asinine people list.

  • With all those journos and politicians in attendance, Linds will be the smartest person in the room.

  • This is an honest question. How is there no security clearance that would prevent someone who is on probation for theft and currently has 2 open assault investigations, that would prevent her from being allowed in the same place as the president??