But before we get into all that, we need to talk about this picture of Adam and the heartbreaker in question, model Anne Vyalitsyna. What the hell is she wearing? Is it a dress, or is that bottom part like shorts that are missing a leg? Either way, what the f*ck?
Ok, now that that’s out of the way, we can go ahead and get down to business. Remember how Jennifer Love Hewitt recently made a fuss over Adam Levine, saying that since they’re both single now they should get together? She said that because Adam’s girlfriend just broke up with him in a remarkably cold way: via press release.
Let’s let some of Adam’s pals tell us all about it:
Adam Levine is, well, in misery.
After his Sports Illustrated swimsuit model girlfriend of two years, Anne Vyalitsyna, dumped him, she announced it to the world April 2 without giving him a heads-up.
“It was a cheap shot,” a pal tells the new issue of Us Weekly. “Anne didn’t want it to look like he broke up with her.”
The Maroon 5 frontman and Voice mentor, 33 — who was home in L.A. when Vyalitsyna broke up with him from NYC — “was blindsided,” says a Levine pal. “Adam’s heartbroken. He wasn’t even fully sure they were really broken up.”
Though Levine didn’t predict a split, friends of the couple saw it coming. “Anne said he didn’t pay her enough attention,” a friend of the model, 26, tells Us.
Another gripe: Levine wasn’t planning to propose anytime soon. “As a woman, you get to a point where you want to get married,” an insider explains. “Adam wasn’t ready to take that step.”
The thing is that I used to really like Adam. He seems like a nice guy on The Voice, and I do like some Maroon 5 stuff. But everyone else thinks he’s this gigantic douchebag, so I looked into it. There was that time that he said he uses “a foolproof birth control system,” which was actually just pulling out, which was silly. I can’t find more of that interview, so I don’t know if he was talking about if he just pulls out with his girlfriend, which would be silly and reckless, or if he’s always just pulled out instead of using a condom, which is awful. And then there was the story about how he allegedly broke up with Jessica Simpson several years ago by sending a text that read “really busy. Need space.” I’m just not so sure about Adam anymore.
This whole breakup might be karma, which is great, but speaking from experience, this is a really, really shitty way to end a relationship. I haven’t read a press release about it, obviously, but the whole “oh, I’m just going to completely stop speaking to you ever instead of being a decent human being and letting you know that this is done” method of breaking up is just ridiculous, so I can’t help but feel for him a little bit.
Even though, speaking of heartbreak, have you seen Adam’s new haircut? He used to be absolutely gorgeous, but now …
So, so sad.