The fashion, guys, the fashion. I didn’t mean that she was caught in some seedy bar sucking face with an unknown so hard that she needed to get new teeth. That was a few years ago, in case you forgot.
No, this is what LeAnn wore to the Academy of Country Music Awards, and I’m not sure if I should give her a chamois to sponge off or hand her a tennis racket. The fashion is bad, bad, bad, and no amount of Stella McCartney love is going to redeem that dress. None.
In other LeAnn news, sources are saying that LeAnn’s got a fetus growing somewhere in her mid-section (I say “somewhere,” because though I realize LeAnn probably has a womb somewhere, I’m thinking it’s not exactly in her body like most women’s are; it’s probably in a dusty drawer labeled ‘fat clothes’):
Just this week, speculation as to whether or not LeAnn Rimes was expecting a baby kicked into high gear thanks no doubt to the one-two media punch of hubby Eddie Cibrian’s artful and seemingly unnecessary dodging of a direct pregnancy question posed to him by a reporter, and the fact that it’s been a lifetime (at the very least, a week, which only seems like a lifetime) since LeAnn has dared to bare her bikini bod.
So, does she have something to hide? Like, say, a baby bump?
Time will tell. At the very least, LeAnn certainly has been wearing more clothing lately, both when locking lips with her lady friends and, more recently, when making her way through LAX’s security screening.
The country cutie and her hubby were both selected for the backscatter before taking off, and paparazzi, as they are wont to do, inevitably caught the duo making their way through the additional security measures (with any would-be baby bump—and if one exists, it’s miniscule—annoyingly blocked from view.
So, wait. I’m confused. What, exactly, made people think she’s got a bun in the oven? Because she’s wearing more clothes? Hate to say, anything can be considered “more clothes” when you’ve been photographed wearing nothing but skimpy string bikinis for three months. A damn scarf can be considered “more clothes,” you feel me? No, I just don’t believe that LeAnn’s pregnant. And I don’t believe it for two reasons: one, Eddie just wouldn’t be having that. Hell no. Two, if Eddie were OK with something other than his eensie-weensie wang occupying her body (say, like, a baby), you would have known about it via Twitter upon conception. That’s just how LeAnn rolls, guys.
But that dress, right? Ugh!