Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Blind Item: Which Comedic Actor Is Above The Law?

From Blind Gossip:

This well-known funny actor is known to enjoy a drink or two over the course of an evening. While driving home (sober) after a recent dinner in Southern California, however, he was pulled over for speeding.

The officer walked up to the driver’s side and asked the actor for his license and registration. The actor put on his trademark smile and asked the officer “Don’t you recognize me?” The officer replied, “Yes. Now show me you license and registration anyway, Funny Man.”

Uh oh. This did not bode well for our actor. He produced the documents, but continued to smile and engage the officer in conversation, hoping that he could establish a rapport and avoid a ticket. The officer looked at the documents and then looked at the actor.

“Have you been drinking tonight, Sir?”

“No. Why?”

“Because your eyes look a little red.”

The actor couldn’t resist asking a question in return.

“Officer, have you been eating donuts tonight?”

The officer, visibly annoyed, said “No. Why?”

“Because your eyes look a little glazed.”

The officer stared at the actor for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. The actor got off with a warning, and the officer went home with a good celebrity story to tell.

Real talk: I wanted to share this blind item for two reasons. One, it really makes me giggle, and I thought you guys might also appreciate a giggle, and two, I think it’s Zach Galifianakis, and I haven’t gotten to talk about dear Zach Galifianakis in forever.

Ugh, ok, more real talk: I don’t actually think the actor is question is Zach Galifianakis, not really. I mean, the actor is “known to enjoy a drink or two over the course of an evening,” and I know that Zach fits that, but that’s because he was my boyfriend for a while last year, and I sort of know everything about him. Likewise, the blind item refers to “his trademark smile,” and I believe the only place where Zach Galifianakis’ smile would really have a trademark is in my heart. So no, I don’t really, truly believe this is a blind item about Zach Galifianakis, even though I could definitely see him making that lame joke. I just wanted to talk about him. So there.

Back in reality, the most popular guess for this item is Jim Carrey, which I guess I could see. I know he used to drink a bit, and I guess he could be known for his trademark smile. Maybe. I think I’m just too upset about not ever really hearing about Zach Galifianakis that my heart isn’t in it anymore.

Who do you guys think this could be? Do you think it’s lame that these kinds of corny jokes from famous actors make them above the law? Do you miss Zach Galifianakis as much as I do?