Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Was on Jimmy Fallon, But I Can’t See Her Through All the Coke Bloat

photo of lindsay lohan pictures photos jimmy fallon pics 2012 photo
That fat-faced-ness can’t be fillers, I’m convinced. It just can’t. I know girlfriend here isn’t exactly rolling in the dough like she used to be, but I positively refuse to believe that she’d go ahead and spend minimal money on such budget facial fillers. Unless she’s gone complete crack-ho, she’s got some sense left, doesn’t she? This is why I bring about such slanderous accusations that it’s not fillers, it’s not chicken cutlets, and it’s not overeating – it’s straight-up water retention or something, definitely brought about by way too many drugs. Recent drugs. Drugs that she thinks will make her funny for SNL and charming and allurring for the Liz Taylor role that should have gone to Megan Fox.

Fox News had a funny story this morning featuring a plastic surgeon who just knows that Lindsay’s had something done (as if there were any question to begin with):

Experts say Lohan may have had some medical enhancements in the weeks leading up to her big “SNL” hosting gig, which she herself has said is a big part of her acting comeback at the tender age of 25.

Celebrity plastic surgeon Dr. Anthony Youn told that Lohan “appears to have a classic, over-plumped pillow face. Her cheeks look like she’s storing nuts for the winter. I suspect that she’s undergone multiple injections of filler like Sculptra or Restylane.”

Youn, who does not treat Lohan, is not impressed with the results. “While these treatments can create a very youthful, natural look, when overdone they can make a person look like a Cabbage Patch Doll,” he said.

Anyway, this is Lindsay’s recent appearance on Jimmy Fallon’s show, and if you can get past the faces, I guess it was supposed to be about bringing a Lindsay Lohan-like renaissance to the western world. She talked about the direction of her career, and then played a rousing game of Pictionary with the studio audience and Jimmy himself.

The funny thing is, is that there are so many blogs and news sites out there saying how wonderful she looks, how healthy and happy and grounded she appears to be, and all I want to do is shake my fist at the screen and say, “No! No, she doesn’t!” She doesn’t even look like the same person anymore, guys. And I hate her hair. Hate it. She looks awful as a blonde, no matter what shade of blonde.


2 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Ugh, you’re right. It’s coke bloat and it honestly looks like bulimia bloat (see: Amanda Bynes). Chipmunk faces on a normally lean face means she’s been pukin her guts out. That could also help explain her disgusting teeth and why she got veneers asap.

    She looks disgusting as a blonde and doesn’t know how to do her makeup. That’s my biggest pet peeve, ugh. Invest in some Estee Lauder Double Wear, you whore.

  • I don’t know bro. Rehabbing from something can bring on the bloated look too. Especially quitting a stimulant. Her body was so used to the drug aiding in every filtration process. It has to relearn that still. Recovering alcoholics get bloat. Quitting smoking gives you bloat even if you don’t gain weight because nicotine is a diuretic so the absence makes your body retain the water. Speculation is a funner word than Science but “funner” is not a word.