Hi! How have you guys been? Things been OK on the Evil Beet front here since I’ve been away? Looks to me like you guys were in some pretty good hands over the past few days, and I’m not surprised. Emily and Jenn are two pretty fabulous ladies, and I know how they feel about you guys.
Anyway, you’re probably wondering why oh why we have anything but Academy Awards coverage today, and I’ll let you in on a secret: it’s because I didn’t watch this year’s Academy Awards, which were held last night. Nope! Know what I was doing? I was *cuddling*. And cradling. Cradling a very sweet-smelling newborn baby boy for half of the night, and cradling my sliced-open-and-restitched abdominal muscles for the other half of the night! Exciting things have been happening in the past few days, friends, and it’s all because of a happy little baby and an emergency c-section.
Remember back when I wrote that post about our lovely orange Jessica Simpson about how I was completely and utterly terrified of having to undergo c-section surgery to remove my darling little baby? IT TOTALLY HAPPENED. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, because karma was totally a bitch by the name of “breech birth,” and if it weren’t for the surgery, well. I don’t want to really consider the other option, honestly, and now I get to be a big giant baby any time I have to, you know, move.
Oh, and as for the whole Katy Perry Interview magazine thing, it was totally a ploy to get you to read what I’ve been doing over the past few days. That’s some pretty shiesty behavior right there, isn’t it? Glad to be back, my friends. If you really want a bit of Katy Perry news, if that’s really why you’re here, let Rihanna tell you all about her plans to make Katy Perry a new woman:
“Rihanna wants to help Katy in any way she can. She is telling her that she’ll start setting her up!”
Katy’s friends are also keen on the idea of her finding a new romance, instead of “wasting time” crying over Russell.
The source added: “Katy has been very upset about the divorce. She never expected it to end and now she’s dealing with the aftermath.
“But her friends are telling her to get back out there and date. They don’t want her to waste time being upset over Russell.”
Awesome, right? This can only get better, now, can’t it? It’s going to be like Paris and Nicole circa 2004 or something.