Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Simpson Is Radiant, Orange, and Gigantic

Photo: Jessica Simpson on her way from Saks Fifth Avenue yesterday

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF PEARL. What in tarnation does Jessica Simpson have in there?

I know, I know. Maybe it’s just the dress. (Oh, my word, that dress.)

No, I shouldn’t pick on Jess. The fact is, she is a very, very good-lookin’ pregnant person. Objectively, I am nowhere as cute even on my best days. Jess looks fine. Great, even. But she’s so… so big! And orange! She’s at that stage in her pregnancy where there is no longer a “baby on board”: Jessica Simpson is essentially a baby with adult legs attached to it.

I do like the way her enormous, fashionable hobo bag matches those—those heels! Woman, what are you thinking! Peep-toe slingback platform heels are barely OK for non-pregnant midday shopping!

Jessica, you’re out of control! Maybe you should listen to this song a few times.

(Image gallery swiped from Radar Online.)

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Whoa. This is one woman who is not going to be able to shrink back down within a month.

    While I’m sure it’s a comfortable dress (and Jessica is a pretty girl), why on earth would she wear orange? It makes her look like the effing sun.

  • Why do people take leave of their senses when it comes to fashion; i.e. her shoes. I think the dress is great plus I love the color orange. She could also easily fall because one’s sense of balance is off when pregnant.

  • Jenn, you and the other members of the “precious pregnancy posse” need stop it, ok? She is the worst looking pregnant woman I ever saw. You bet there is Road Work Ahead! Jess probably stumbled a bit in the road and left a pothole! Whoever snapped those pix of the big orange mama moose in front of the big orange road sign just jumped on my best friend list!

    • Can I please get a little credit here? I totally picked the Road Work photo as my lead photo, thank you. I liked all the orange.

  • OMG, she is huge and DELICIOUS LOOKING !
    OK, the shoes are JUST wrong.
    Her norks are so friggin’ huge, they’re swingin’ under her arms around her belly.

  • If that dress were brown, she would look like Friar Tuck!
    I can’t imagine she is having anything but twins.
    Not a fan of C-section, but holy s–t, I can’t imagine popping this one (or these two) out!

  • Oh stop it you people. I was way bigger before I gave birth to a huge baby. People kind of cringed when they looked at me. Perhaps they were afraid I would explode. And I was absolutely miserable. It is not fun having your body taken over like that. You are powerless. It just keeps expanding and the discomfort increases exponentially.I am not one of her fans, but when I saw this photo, I felt compassion for her.

  • I’ve read numerous times that she is simply eating whatever she wants, and it certainly looks like it. While it sounds fun to go on a splurge and gorge yourself with whatever you want, you really don’t need as many additional calories as one would think. I really hope she’s not simply throwing healthy nutrition out the window. Krispy Kreme’s are not vegetables…no matter how much I may want them to be.