“I don’t want to disappoint you, but [I’m] not really like the film. I just tried to follow all the rules that men’s magazines give you, like all the ways you’re supposed to dress, all the exercises you’re supposed to do, and all the things you’re supposed to say [when prepping for the film Crazy Stupid Love]. [I] just follow the letter of the law. … I read that book, The Game. I like to call it The Lame. Or that TV show, The Pick Up Artist. I watched that. I don’t know whether seduction can be taught or not. But these gentlemen seem to think that they have something to say, and they have devotees.”
Boy, is there anything that Ryan here can’t do? If you ask some people, the answer is a big, fat ‘no’. I, however, am starting to see through Ryan. I’m starting to sense the transparency that is intertwined with his every single practiced response to the world’s obsession with all things Ryan Gosling. See, little things started to eke out when he began dating Eva Mendes, and because she is who she is, it’s almost impossible not to see the sides of Gosling that we wouldn’t ordinarily see otherwise. Eva Mendes is out there – in-your-face kind of hot, and she’s proud of who she’s dating. If I were her, I’d feel the same way. But you know what? You know what’s happening here? Eva’s revealing more and more of the Ryan that none of us really thought existed, and this whole “Aw shucks” demeanor that Ryan puts on for these interviews is quickly becoming rather … well, old.
You’re hot, Ryan. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but own it. Get over it. You’re dating Eva Mendes. She’s dated dudes like Jason Sudeikis. She allegedly hooked up with Joaquin Phoenix. But yet she ended up with you, Mr. “Aw Shucks.”
I just know you’re not as bashful as you want to appear, and it’s starting to become more and more obvious as the days go by, friend. Let’s just cut all of this middle-man business out, shall we? All of this “I’m not hot, I’m not appealing, I’m funny-looking” garbage is just kind of wearing thin on me, boy. You understand, don’t you?