Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. THE TRAILER.

First, when I watched the trailer, I was all like ‘huh?’ And then halfway through it, I was like, ‘Wait … what?’ but now (after watching it twice), I’m kind of like ‘Hmm. OK.’

Also, the final words on the screen – “Are you a patriot or a vampire?” Is that some kind of play on Democrats and Republicans? Or maybe just poking fun at the Twilight franchise’s vampires versus werewolves thing? Was Abe Lincoln a werewolf? A terrorist? Or was he maybe a Democrat in disguise? Blood-suckers and all that? I don’t know. I’m reaching here, guys. It’s your job to rein me back in and let me know what’s really what. Here’s what IMDB has to say about Abraham Lincoln! Vampire Hunter!:

President Lincoln’s mother is killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers.

So it’s all a vengeance thing, then. And Abe wasn’t really fighting for the freedom of slaves, he was slaughtering them because they – and their owners – were vampires. Who killed his mom. And so he used his platform to get revenge on a man – or a group of men – who messed with his mum and pa. Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

… Are we sure this isn’t a biopic on the lives of George Bush, Sr., and George W. Bush?

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • It is from a book, by the same guy who wrote “pride and prejudice and zombies”. He just takes a classic and adds some fun, I am really forward to this movie.