If you haven’t heard by now, I can sum up the Grammys in just a few sentences for you: Adele won everything that she was nominated for; Lady Gaga won nothing, thankyouverymuch; Nicki Minaj is neither creative nor innovative and frankly, she kind of frightens me; Whitney Houston was honored, and it’s all still so, so sad; and apparently two years’ punishment is good enough for the Grammys to invite a violent bully Chris Brown a violent bully back to perform on their stage.
There were a lot of other cool things that happened, like Bruce Springsteen being kind of … I don’t know, hot; Paul McCartney making his guitar gently weep; and Dave Grohl’s infectious love of performance, but of course, there were bad things, too, like almost all of the fashion. Normally I’d do Best 5 and Worst 5, but guys, I had one hard-ass time finding 5 getups that weren’t totally awful. And rather than do Best 3 and Worst 15, I figured I’d try to balance it out a little bit better than that.
Here’s the 3 Best Fashion Picks of the Night:
#3 – Paris Hilton
If you can look past the fact that she looks more and more like Igor every day, and that she’s, well … Paris Hilton, then you can appreciate the fact that this is probably the best that she’s looked. Ever. She was classy, put-together, and not one speck of skank was showing. That in itself should land her the top spot on this list, but it is Paris Hilton, after all.
#2 – Katy Perry
Short of the blue hair, Katy Perry was looking pretty great last night. I don’t normally have a lot of good to say about girlfriend here, but there’s just something about that fluffy little number (the dress, not Katy) that I’m just enamored with.
#1 – Kathy Griffin
I know, I couldn’t believe it either. But she looks so good – the dress, her hair, her makeup: everything’s tasteful and appropriate and is actually FLATTERING, and that one word right there, guys, is not a word that I ever thought I’d associate with Kathy Griffin.
Who took the best?
Jump in for the 5 Worst!
#5 – Nicki Minaj
Oh, girl, it’s not as if you didn’t see this coming. What the hell is it? Some kind of weird Red Riding Hood mixed with a nun’s habit? I just don’t get it. I know it’s not a “real” fashion choice, because it’s supposed to be all theatrical and costume-y, but it’s just rough. Much like Nicki’s odd performance last night.
#4 – Rihanna
A lot of people thought that Rihanna looked hot last night, and when she was performing, she did. She absolutely did. But the dress she wore for the rest of the ceremony? Trash bag central. Her body’s definitely in tip-top shape, and can’t no one deny that, but the hair? The lavender lipstick? Let’s put it this way: if Rihanna had worn a bag over her head last night, she might’ve made the “Best” list. But because she left that all-important accessory at home, here she is, aptly shoved into the “Worst” box. Hey. She’s been in far worse places, I’m sure.
#3 – Anne V
If you don’t know who this chick is, that’s OK. She’s a Victoria’s Secret model and Maroon 5 Adam Levine’s girlfriend. And she chose a really embarrassing dress. It’s not that you can almost see what her gynecologist sent to the lab after her last pap test, it’s that … OK, you’re right: it’s totally that you can almost see what her gynecologist sent to the lab after her last pap test.
#2 – Cyndi Lauper
Oh dear. Cyndi … Just. I don’t .. Never mind. OH DEAR is all I’ve got on this one. That and “Are you sure that isn’t Christina Aguilera?”
#1 – Robyn
Yes, the singer Robyn that did ‘Show Me Love’ and came back and did some kind of “I’m getting my career back!” thing that never actually panned out all that well on a mainstream level. The OUTFIT, though. Could she have chosen a more awful outfit? From the clunky John Deere-inspired Spice Girl boots to the unflattering cut of that skirt (why can’t people just buy things that fit them, friends?), to the HAIR. Oh my GOD. I just don’t know where to look. This one shook me, guys. Shook me deep inside. Show me whatever you want, Robyn, just … not this.
Who took the worst?
Why was Paris Hilton on the red carpet anyway? What does she have to do with the Grammy’s? I know she put out some crappy songs a few years ago, but can’t figure out who the hell would invite this washed-up porn starlet.
robyn is fucking amazing, i don’t care what she wears
Hey, it only took – what? – 20 years for Kathy Griffin to get her shit together for a red carpet. Better late than never.
Hey Robyn, Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies wants his shoes back.
Robyn looks like an albino Adam Richman from the Travel Channel’s “I eat too much food in one sitting” . I would not call that flattering.
Key word ‘albino’
Rihanna looks like Goldie Hawn in “Overboard”.
Goldie in “Overboard” — exactly right!
Still think Carrie’s dress was the most elegant. Loved the back of it too and the way she had her hair back.
I actually thought Robyn’s outfit was OK. Cindy Lauper’s was fucking awful. But i love that Robyn has her own style!