Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jack Nicholson, Are You Excited About The Super Bowl?

A photo of Jack Nicholson

Well, don’t let that thumbs-up fool you, because no, Jack Nicholson isn’t excited about the Super Bowl, which, in case you live under a rock or don’t peruse Facebook for hours a day, is tomorrow. In fact, he’s really not looking forward to it all.

Specifically, Jack said he would rather drink bleach than go to the Super Bowl.

I can definitely see where Jack is coming from on this one. I would hate to go to the Super Bowl as well – there’s too many people, and I’m not into football at all. Also, Madonna is doing the halftime show, and … it’s Madonna. I don’t want to support that.

Taking Jack’s comment a little further though, I decided to come up with a list of things I would rather do than even watch the Super Bowl. I hope those of you who are in the same boat as me can get some ideas of your own about what you can do tomorrow, and I hope those of you who are excited about it can still respect me afterwards.

Instead of watching the Super Bowl, I would rather:

– bake cookies for everyone who lives in my apartment building, even the girl who lives above me who thought it was ok to throw a used tampon applicator in front of my window

– revamp and update my Myspace account

– revamp and update my Xanga account

– write an elaborate Harry Potter fan fiction in which an original character named Emily discovers at the age of 23 that she has magical powers and goes to develop her (exceptionally strong) skills at Hogwarts, where she rides a unicorn

– mop the floors

– take a series of pictures of my guinea pigs with the shitty camera on my phone (I went ahead and started this one, check out the gallery! The black one is Henry, the one with the wacky hair is Aladdin!)

– anything at all, dear God, please don’t make me watch it

What about you guys? You can go ahead and use this post to express your feelings about the upcoming game, your bets, your annoyances, whatever. Have a magical night, and I’ll see you in the morning!

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Though I spend at least an hour (let’s face it — definitely more than an hour) on Facebook every day, it was only yesterday that I realized that the Super Bowl is this weekend. A) I do not like sportsball of any form. Even the hottest soccer players cannot get me to watch. B) My friends seem to be of unusual quality.

    I finally realized that the Super Bowl is tomorrow because a Domino’s Pizza coupon that came attached to yesterday’s lunch told me. That sentence probably reveals way more about my life than I intended.

    But good for Jack Nicholson. And good for you! And oh my goodness, Emily, I love you, and that horrendous fanfic idea has me grinning way too much. It would at LEAST be better than that delightfully egregious “My Immortal” fanfic.

    But the BEST thing to do on Super Bowl Sunday? (Aside from play video games that are not first-person shooters and do not involve sports or feature cars prominently) Eat the foods normally associated with people watching “the game,” but do something infinitely more worthwhile. Like watching old episodes of The Closer. Or, you know, anything other than watching the Super Bowl.

  • I love the Super Bowl, but more for the Super Bowl party than the football (though my husband recently got me into playing fantasy football and now I care a little bit about the game). Eating, drinking, chilling with your friends (and, if they’re like mine, they care more about hanging out and talking than the actual game, too) – what could be better? Oh, and making fun of the halftime show and whoever botches the national anthem are awesome, too.

  • Waaaaah!!!!!

    I don’t know what it is about guinea pigs that makes me so happy. They are too damn adorable.

  • Jack might be onto something – Superbowl is more marketing spectacle than sports event. What real sporting event comes with a “half time show”. Oh I’ll watch, but only for the special Superbowl ads!