Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Let’s Fall in Love with Madonna All Over Again

A photo of Madonna If you're anything like I am, you are becoming more obsessed with Madonna by the day. I don't know---it's like I forgot to be obsessed with Madonna from 1984 to 2008, and then some wire was tripped. Of course you'll want to read all the best snippets from this L.A. Times interview with Madonna, director of the award-winning-but-only-for-the-music film W.E. Here is a thing Madonna said in the interview: "I don't like to repeat myself." (Which is weird to me, because Madonna sure talks ab...

In Today’s Non-News: Oprah Winfrey Isn’t Godmother to Blue Ivy

photo of beyonce and jay z pictures photos pics File it under "You Didn't Hear It From Us": numerous reports this week claimed that Oprah had been crowned godmother of Beyonce and Jay-Z's infant daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. I am pleased to announce that you never read any such thing here at Evil Beet Gossip. But boy, if we had reported it, we'd be eating crow right about now. Oprah's bestie Gayle King sets the record straight (via Pop2it): "It's absolutely not true that she's the godmother," King said. "She's friends with them, of course, and likes them both v...

Guess Who Was Abducted By Aliens?

photo of fran drescher book pictures 2012 abducted by aliens scar pics Fran Drescher. Explains so much, right? Honestly, hasn't she always kind of struck you as some weird other-world science project, what with that nasal voice and weird, rambling walk of hers? Doesn't it just make *sense* that, long ago, aliens visited Franny the Nanny, took her up to the wide expanse of outer space in their big old starship and probed her with a variety of ... I don't know, probe-like things? And that those things probably made her the way she is today? Because it's probably, m...

Snoop Dogg Tells it Like it Is, Calls Kim Kardashian a Ho

Video is pretty NSFW for language - so don't say I didn't warn you! Here's the transcript from the video, in case some of you couldn't (or wouldn't) watch the clip, based on what it actually is:
[Dolphin screams "Bitch!"] Advice for Kris Humphries and her, uh, Kim Kardashian: the first advice is, you dumb ass n-gga, you shouldn't have tried to wife the bitch, man. She's not that type of a ho. She gets around, man, you see when Reggie [Bush] took the bitch to Africa, she was looking at the Africans 'cause they had bigger dicks than him. He didn't know how to act afterwards, they sent his ass to Miami. Ray-J the only n-gga that bounced back from the bitch, man. She's cold-blooded. I'm pretty sure she have a book in a month, talking about all the n-ggas she got and how she played 'em. My advice is, look. You can't make a ho a housewife. Don't try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she was born to do. HO. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch. [Dolphin screams "Bitch!" again]
That should pretty much sum up what Snoop Dogg here thinks of Kim Kardashian. Or rather, what the entire world probably thinks of her. The funny thing, however, is that, given the chance, Snoop would still probably hit it. With another brother's dick, all triple-wrapped and stuff, but he'd still be all about it, more than likely. If you take all of the nasty away from Kim Kardashian and her conniving ways and her beat-up kitty cat, she's still a pretty alluring chick, but then again, if you take all that stuff away, then she wouldn't be Kim Kardashian - she'd be, like, Princess f-cking Jasmine or something, you know? /> Video is pretty NSFW for language - so don't say I didn't warn you! Here's the transcript from the video, in case some of you couldn't (or wouldn't) watch the clip, based on what it actually is: [Dolphin screams "Bitch!"] Advice for Kris Humphries and her, uh, Kim Kardashian: the first advice is, you dumb ass n-gga, you shouldn't have tried to wife the bitch, man. She's not that type of a ho. She gets around, man, you see when Reggie [Bush] took the bitch to Africa, she was looking at the ...

Sarah Jessica Parker to Replace Demi Moore in ‘Lovelace’

photo of sarah jessica parker pictures photos caption this contests pics Here is something I did not know: Demi Moore was originally slated to play Gloria Steinem in the bio-pic Lovelace. This shocked me because---I'm sorry if this is rude, but---wasn't Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle the last thing anyone saw Demi in? And even that was stunt casting. Does Demi really even act anymore? And it's all so sad because, like, Demi Moore really was the most talented person to come out of St. Elmo's Fire, you guys. But the one-two punch of Striptease and G.I. Jane ...

Oh Wow: Joseph Gordon-Levitt Finally Did Something I Hate

I suppose it was just a matter of time, being the hard-to-please bitch that I am. This is JGL, obviously, performing the legendary Beatles song, 'Hey Jude', at the Sundance Film Festival. It happened just last night. And it apparently wasn't an accident, either. Good old Joseph filmed a YouTube video back in December (a really, really excited YouTube video) stating that he'd be there, and how much it meant to him to have the invitation extended. Check it out: So, OK. He's a happy little guy. He's enthusiastic and optimistic and those are two traits that I generally like in a person. There's nothing worse than someone famous who tries to pretend that they're not famous when you just know that they get their rocks off on knowing how famous they actually are, and I don't think JGL is like that. At least I hope not, otherwise I'm becoming a really shitty judge of character. The performance wasn't horrible, and I shouldn't judge too hard, because it really wasn't all that bad. Honestly. I'm just glad he didn't go for the "Hey Jude-y, Jude-y, Jude-y, Jude-y, Jude-y, WHAAAAA" because that would have been just ... even more bad. And there's not a whole lot of bad that I can take when it comes to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I like boyfriend here a lot - I really think he's just a doll - but contrived performances for the sake of contrived performances can easily waffle above that fine line between "endearing and hot weirdo" and "annoying and hot bad-hipster." Don't cross it, brother. /> I suppose it was just a matter of time, being the hard-to-please bitch that I am. This is JGL, obviously, performing the legendary Beatles song, 'Hey Jude', at the Sundance Film Festival. It happened just last night. And it apparently wasn't an accident, either. Good old Joseph filmed a YouTube video back in December (a really, really excited YouTube video) stating that he'd be there, and how much it meant to him to have the invitation extended. Check it out: So, OK. He's a happy litt...

Afternoon Delight

photo of taylor swift pictures photos hot dating jake gyllenhaal pics Taylor Swift wrote an entire album about Jake Gyllenhaal. [The Superficial] Kim Kardashian tried to get with Tim Tebow, but she's Satan incarnate, so he said no. [Cele|bitchy] Your ultimate American Idol recap. [Starpulse] Hilarious model inner monologue. [The Frisky] Demi Moore's had a "Red Bull addiction" for years. That's what this is all about, I guess. [TMZ] Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana spotted together for the first time. [Socialite Life] Vanessa Paradis has EVEN MORE...

Demi Moore Was Probably Smoking Bath Salts

photo of demi moore pictures photos smoking bath salts meth pictures photso 911 photo call pic So, I said yesterday that the 911 call featuring Demi's rescuers would be sent out to the 'net for all of the public's listening pleasure, and it has been. I haven't listened to it. And if you want to listen to it, it's out there, but you're not going to find it here - at least from me - because like I said, I think it's weird. Morbid might be a better word. Like, that one website, Rotten.com? God do I hate that website. There's such bizarre stuff on there, and I think certain things are better left unheard or unseen (nu...

Watch This: Jim Henson’s “Robot”

Jim Henson died in 1990, yet his work continues to live and breathe. But before he was known as the creator of the Muppets, Henson did a lot of odd jobs, including some commercial work. AT&T---which, of course, began as the Southwestern Bell Corporation---recently rediscovered this 1963 movie by Henson. So they dusted it off and slapped it up on YouTube! The Huffington Post:
The film, made for the company then known as The Bell System, was shown at a seminar for leaders of the then-nascent data-communications field. AT&T, which rustled up the video from Henson's archive and put it on its YouTube page, writes that the film was inspired by an executive named Ted Mills and his memo to Henson, which described the relationship between man and machine this way: "He [the robot] is sure that All Men Basically Want to Play Golf, and not run businesses---if he can do it better." "Robot" features a cold, unfeeling machine consuming "oceans of information" as it derides the laziness and emotional vulnerability of man. It's a fun, dark little piece with a kicker that will leave you smiling.
It isn't much of a "kicker" exactly, but the point is, machines will never replace people because all machines eventually break. And as corporations get more and more faceless---more "robotic," really---I can't help but wish we had another Jim Henson. I am really in love with this type of puppeteering, you guys. The machine is supposed to be this cruel, cold thing, but he's actually really cute! He has googly eyes! He burps! It is even cute when he murders a little bird. Jim Henson was a genius! Last year, Jim Henson would have celebrated his 75th birthday. /> Jim Henson died in 1990, yet his work continues to live and breathe. But before he was known as the creator of the Muppets, Henson did a lot of odd jobs, including some commercial work. AT&T---which, of course, began as the Southwestern Bell Corporation---recently rediscovered this 1963 movie by Henson. So they dusted it off and slapped it up on YouTube! The Huffington Post: The film, made for the company then known as The Bell System, was shown at a seminar for leaders of the then-n...

OK, It’s Official: Eddie Cibrian is the Biggest DB Ever

photo of leann rimes skinny 2012 pictures recent photos pics From In Touch Weekly: As LeAnn Rimes’ one-year wedding anniversary with husband Eddie Cibrian approaches, she is eager to give him the best gift ever – a baby. In fact, LeAnn wants to have a child with Eddie – who has two sons, Mason and Jake, with ex-wife Brandi Glanville – more than anything in the world. But LeAnn is already struggling to overcome a major roadblack: “She doesn’t want to gain the weight!” a source reveals to In Touch. The reason? A size 0, LeAnn is afraid th...

Matthew Broderick is Bringing Ferris Bueller to the Super Bowl

Well that's kind of a cocktease, now, isn't it? And speaking of random cockteases, did you know that there's a female celebrity out there whose real last name is 'Cockburn'? I mean, LOL! How funny is that! I actually just found that out today when I was looking for a picture to run with the morning link roundup. If you noticed the photo on that particular post, you'll see that it's of Olivia Wilde. Whose, yes, actual last name is 'Cockburn'. Now, there are so, so many ways I can make fun of that, and I'd like to - I'd really, really like to, in another place, and another time - but this slot today isn't supposed to be about Olivia Wilde. It's supposed to be about Matthew Broderick. And how he's doing something Ferris Bueller-related for a Super Bowl commercial this year. I think it's a pretty neat concept, considering it's really the thing that made him famous and kept him famous after all these years (aside from marrying that miserable bitch Sarah Jessica Parker, of course), but I'm hoping it's that he's going to come out as a gay Ferris Bueller, because I'll tell you: the movie was on just this past weekend and after watching it, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind how gay Matthew Broderick was. And oh, right. Is. /> Well that's kind of a cocktease, now, isn't it? And speaking of random cockteases, did you know that there's a female celebrity out there whose real last name is 'Cockburn'? I mean, LOL! How funny is that! I actually just found that out today when I was looking for a picture to run with the morning link roundup. If you noticed the photo on that particular post, you'll see that it's of Olivia Wilde. Whose, yes, actual last name is 'Cockburn'. Now, there are so, so many ways I can make fun of ...

Morning Wood

photo of olivia wilde pictures photos hot pic Are Child Protective Services going to take away Halle Berry's daughter? [Bossip] Who wants to win a Grammy? [LA Times] Lindsay Lohan's being sued for that one time when she hit a baby with her car. [The Superficial] Pamela Anderson's dating an NFL player now. [Lainey Gossip] Michael Jackson's daughter is in love with Justin Bieber. Move over, Gomez. [Starpulse] Jessica Biel refused Justin Timberlake's first ring because it was too small. [Cele|bitchy] Aubrey Plaza talks about sex with Bill Murray. [H...